UNBEARABLE

I should be happy, right? Deliriously happy. And I am, most of the time. But still, the weeks until I will be finally able to return home seem endless. Everything and everyone annoys me and I can barely bear it anymore. Work is an ordeal, every single day.(But basically, that’s the case for all of us!) I’m just glad to at least work from home most of the time.Weekends are long, spent reading, watching some TV and basically just waiting for time to go by. With the Saturday paper, grocery store commercials and a nice cup of Tassimo Latte Macchiato or Cappuccino as my weekend highlight. The planning is all done, the packing as well as far as possible, living with the mere essentials. Nothing else to do at the moment, just waiting, which is driving me crazy.

What annoys me so much? First of all, my kitchen and the question what will become of it. Will I be able to sell it? Will the next tenants take it over? Well, considering, that it took 3.5 weeks to finally post the apartment on of those appropriate websites … with every day the chances of finding tenants in time is sinking. And, of course, even though I’m told “what a shame about your kitchen”, “such a beautiful kitchen”, they won’t rent the apartment out including the kitchen. But merely offering the prospective new tenant to buy it from the old one. Me. How happy I would have been three years ago, if I hadn’t had to buy a brand-new kitchen – costs of about 5000€ – and could have moved in with one in place. Especially such a luxurious one with drawers everywhere and a modern white high gloss finish. The thought of not being able to sell it or basically give it away for nothing or having to tear it out to be transported to the waste dump … makes me hate everything here even more.

Thinking back to the past ten years, I feel as if everyone has just been bleeding me dry. Financially and personally. And sometimes I could still kick myself for being too nice and generous. Always giving, nothing getting in return from those I would have needed it most.

Not to mention the German moving company which clearly tried to rip me off by offering to do the move for 15500€. Payment conditions? In advance! Quite dubious. The second German moving company didn’t even bother to send me a cost estimate, despite the pictures and detailed information I had provided and the offer from a third one was a bloody joke. (If I sent out offers like that our customers would throw them back into my face.) Well, I was more than happy to give the contract to an Austrian moving company for half the price, good customer service and a good feeling.

At least the June weeks will be busy and I will be getting closer to getting away from here. Counting the days and scratching them off my various calendars. Literally! The moving day really can’t come too soon … but until then I still have to be patient and try to get the days over with without hopping mad.

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THE AMAZING WALT DISNEY

Once upon a time there was a girl who like every other girl or boy liked to watch cartoons and read comics. Preferably about Mickey Mouse, Pluto and Goofy, but all the other characters were a highlight as well.

Today everyone knows the Disney movies and its various characters from several decades. And apart from liking the movies and cartoons of my childhood a lot, I never thought much about them or their creator. Until, yes, until, I read a highly fascinating post by one of my fellow bloggers “Pacific Paratrooper” about “How Disney aided the troops in World War II”. Huh? This was completely new to me! And I was amazed about Disney’s vision to help keeping troops moralized.

David Lesjak’s quote in “Pacific Paratrooper’s” post says it all, “Insigning helped build morale. Having a cartoon character you grew up with on your plane or shoulder patch helped remind you of home. In my mind, it was a happy diversion from the horrors of war.”

Reading the comments and commenting myself on this lovely article, I couldn’t help reminiscing about my earliest Disney experiences. Remembering also my father, who once told me that the first movie he saw at a cinema was “Snow white and the seven dwarfs” as a child. Our love for animated movies remained until his death and remains with me up to now. Even though the new digitally mastered animated movies are masterpieces, I can’t help admiring the old ones more, when everything had to be drawn and coloured by hand. Imagine the effort it took to draw and film just one short cartoon!

Anyway, I couldn’t help myself checking out Walt Disney biographies on Amazon (where else can Austrian me find any possible English book I might want). I guess, you, my faithful readers, won’t be surprised by my inability to actually decide on one measly book. Especially with both having such great reviews. So … of course, I had to order both! (Sadly, “Disney during World War II” which I was also interested in due to the post, was not available!)

1 Walt Disney by Neal Gabler

2 Walt Disney: An American Original by Bob Thomas

Thanks, GP, for asking me to give my thoughts on those two books! Which, by the way, gave me the inspiration for this – for me – a bit unusual post. Now, all that’s left to do is A) receive the books, B) read them and C) write about them!

COMING FULL CIRCLE

Ten years in Germany are coming to an end, and even though I will be leaving with a little tear in my eye, I can’t wait to return home. Funnily enough, the apartment I will move into is in the same building block I moved out from 10 years ago. I will actually be able to see my old balcony from the new one. I will be exactly where I had wished to be. Coming full circle!

These past weeks have been quite busy, even though the move is still two months away. But with the job offer on the table, I was able to finalize the apartment renting and the move itself with an international moving company. The schedule for the move is on and I’ve started working on my last To Do lists. To Do and Go before I leave (as in: going to Münsterand KFC), scheduling goodbye meetings with close acquaintances and friends, planning the goodbye breakfast at the office on my last day of work, scheduling appointments for my cat (to receive his rabies shot, get his ID chip and European Union passport) and my car (unfortunately the TÜV certificate is running out one month before the move, so I will have to get it done here AND then back in Austria once again), keep packing (like winter clothes) and starting with the dismantling of furniture. Hoping, by the way, that I will be able to sell my kitchen at a halfway decent price. I barely dare think how much I will lose for my three-year-old high gloss Ikea kitchen … and that’s basically the only worry I still have when it comes to the move.

Collecting souvenirs and certain foods to take back with me is also part of my preparation. Yeah, hard to believe, I actually want to take German food with me back to Austria, when I could barely live without my Austrian groceries and imported them in car loads. So, you are wondering what’s on my German grocery list? Woodruff (Waldmeister) Jell-O, NiedereggerMarchpane Cappuccino / Hot Chocolate, Salad Dressing Sylt style, Krüger coffees and chais, Mettenden (special sausages), treacle, seasoning for Currywurst … not to forget Diego’s favourite cat food to tide him over for some time.

Currently, I’m residing in my apartment with the mere essentials. No more deciding on which breakfast plates to use, no more decorating in one colour scheme (starting with the towels and bed linens up to the pillow cases, throws and tea light holders), no more choosing my afternoon tea set or Saturday morning Cappuccino cups, depending on my mood. Everything is packed up apart from what I absolutely need, even my large collection of unread books to choose the next from. Only about 20 books from the approx. 300 are still out and about to be enjoyed over the remaining weeks. But it doesn’t matter. It’s only a matter of weeks now until everything will be back to normal. And will be coming full circle.

BECOMING A MOVING EXPERT

After three moves and another one planned in the course of 10 years, I dare say I do have some experience when it comes to moving my whole stuff from one place to another.

I’ve always liked moves. I guess I’m coming after my aunt Do in these regards. She once told me how much she liked the moves. And she went through a few herself. First with her late husband, then on her own. I remember my first little student apartment, where I lived for a few years before changing location to the same house my aunt Do lived in. And many, many years ago, the same house was the childhood home of my father and his siblings for a few years. The large apartments were remodelled and divided and I was happy to move into the former apartment of Aunt Do and Uncle Wolfgang, newly renovated. Oh boy, my poor Aunt Do had to live among my banana boxes for quite some time which I managed to transport to her place in between before I could move in.

After some wonderful years, I decided to move back into town to be closer to university and place of work, cause the half hour walks to town and back home were taking its toll on my social university life. Apartment number 3 would become my residence until the end of my studies and the move to Germany. And every time I loved the experience. I loved the packing up, the unpacking, the furniture being arranged differently – which I also tended to rearrange every few months. And my joy of movinghasn’t changed, really. Even though it’s much more work and much more exhausting. Moving the interiors of a 30 sqm apartment is a bit different to the 100 sqm I’m occupying now. And I’ve learned from each and every of my moves.

I think by now I’ve pretty much perfected the preparations. By starting as early as possible with the planning, the collection of banana boxes, slowly packing them – way less stressful as if I had to do everything in a couple of weeks -, making inventories, having extensive packing lists, not to mention a furniture list with dimensions, even trial packing in order to get a closer estimation of the actual banana and moving boxes needed.

So, now all that’s left to do is the actual move to happen in two months’ time, with the remaining stuff to pack up – which can be done in a couple of hours – and get everything back home. But the real experience will have to wait to become a post another time.

GOOD WEEKS?

Going home with an empty car? Unthinkable!

Well prepared for the long drive

It all started … nooo, I should stop starting my posts with “It all started …” but I just can’t help it. It’s just so perfect quite often, isn’t it? So, there it is again!

It all started a few weeks ago with a call from Austria. From the assistant recruiter of a company where I had already had an online interview, inviting me to a personal meeting. As in: second round, short list. As you can imagine, I was ecstatic and my first call afterwards was to check with the cat hotel whether they had a vacancy for the three days I would be away: one day for the drive to Austria, one day to have the meeting (and meet the one or other friend), one day for the drive back. Luckily, there was and I was quite relieved. Informing my family and friends of the good news and upcoming visit was next … so, my travel organization was in full swing and I could hardly wait …

And then, the big day was here. Dropping off Diego, getting my hair done and off I went. Oh boy, it was exhausting. Bad weather, lots of traffic, lots of construction sites and the usual awful drivers. Ten hours and three short breaks later I had finally arrived at home and was dead to the world. Since the interview was scheduled for 1 p.m. the next day, the morning was filled with final preparations, waiting and sprucing up for the big event. For the first time in simply ages I dressed up: in a simple black shift dress and jacket, accompanied with black suede high heels and an orange MK tote bag to brighten the strict outfit with this splash of colour.

As usual, I was there much too early, chatting with the lovely receptionist and curiously waiting for the meeting to come. The two potential future colleagues as well as the recruiter were perfectly nice and it went really well. Through and through.

One hour later it was over with the promise of receiving a feedback the following week. Oh boy, I already knew the waiting would be agony. But for now, I was just happy to be at home and started my post-interview-schedule. As in: looking at apartment No 1 – a total failure; visiting one of my friends for coffee and a chat; looking at apartments No 2 and 3 – accompanied by my friend, who took the time to join me, and we both were of the same mind when it came to apartment No 3. If everything went well with the job this would be the apartment I would want to move into.

After measuring the rooms – just in case – I hurried back to my car to visit other friends who had invited me for dinner. Where finally, I could really relax from all the running around all afternoon. Lucky me, they spoiled me rotten with a wonderful traditional pork roast and I enjoyed the evening immensely.

Back with my aunt there was more chatting and once again I was quite exhausted, knowing that the next morning I would have to tackle the long drive back to Germany. Starting at 4:30 am. And it “only” took me 9.5 hours to get home. (With Rangey being rewarded a 5 star wash for getting me back safely.)

And then … the rest of the week and the following week were filled with waiting, hoping, worrying, wondering, doubting. Would they choose me? What if not? I would have to start anew once again, going through first and second rounds, stuck here for many more months … I was totally out of sorts these past days, thin skinned, emotional, in a very bad mood, weeping. Until I couldn’t wait any longer and just called, asking for an update. Being told there were still discussions and I would get a definite answer next week. Argh!!! More long days of waiting ahead!

And then, shortly before noon, the recruiter called totally unexpectedly. That they had settled everything and would offer me the job. Oh boy! Ohboyohboyohboy! Yes, yes, yes! I didn’t have to think twice saying YES! Austria, here I come! Just a few more weeks … and the countdown has already started!

THE SEARCH

Waiting …

I wish it were finally over. I wish the job search were already over. I wish I had a professional future ahead of me again with a job lined up, contract signed. I wish I could finally continue planning my move back home.

Sending out applications, having interviews, which usually go quite well but not getting into round two due to others having other qualifications, maybe less specified than mine. Or already having qualifications I can’t provide even though I would be interested to get into this new field of experience. Like quality management, which I know would be a good fit for me, being the organized and structured person that I am. I wish someone would just take a chance with me. Or maybe being 900 km away IS a hindrance, after all? Or my 3 month notice period from my old job?

On the other hand, I was approached by LinkedIn job hunters, offering me project management positions in Germany and internationally. And even though it felt quite good to be contacted and wanted, Germany or any other country than Austria is not an option for me. And in terms of Austria, I want to return to my university town, my home of the heart, the home of my parents and relatives, the home of my friends. I can’t do anything else. I can’t move anywhere else. I would be in the same situation as I am now. Just with the difference that they are not 9 hours but only 2 or 3 away. But it would still be the same. I would be alone, not being able to visit one of my friends after work for a chat and coffee. Or meet up with my other friends spontaneously. Or my aunts. Be there. Be home. Where I belong. So that doesn’t make the job search easier.

But it is getting to me. Even though I have “only” been on to it for the past four months, it’s getting to me. I know I have to be patient. I know, even though specialists are in demand, it’s still not easy to find the right job and company which suit. And there are days where I get pretty depressed, wondering whether I will ever find a job or whether I will be stuck here indefinitely. It’s getting harder every day. But there’s nothing else I can do apart from keep doing what I am doing. Checking job sites, sending out applications … and waiting!

18 CAT YEARS

Three years ago, Diego came to live with me at the proud age of 15. Three wonderful, funny and happy years with this lovely tomcat.

Thinking back, it was an exciting time for both of us. Getting to know each other and our new apartment, which was still filled with unpacked banana boxes. Three years later the banana boxes are back, waiting to be unpacked in Austria. I wonder what our new apartment will be like? Will Diego be happy there as well? Will we have a balcony again? Or even a small garden? Will he get used to Austrian food? (So far, my first trials with Austrian grocery stores’ own brand cat food was not particularly successful!) But, I will do my utmost to make our new future home a beautiful haven again. 

Reminiscing about the past three years, this little boy has become the centre of my life and I regularly feel bad when I have to leave him alone for more than a couple of hours. Like going to the office occasionally. Provided with his Cat Mate feeding apparatus he has to muddle through without me for approximately 9 to 10 hours on those days. I wonder what he is doing while I’m away apart from sleeping and eating? With no one to throw one of his toy mice around? With no one to complain loudly that he needs some attention and caressing? Or some treats? He certainly tells me that he is not happy having spent the day alone by meowing loudly as I enter the apartment, and, as I have learned from T.S. Elliott’s poems, I apologize profoundly and spoil him with one of his favourite treats. Which he graciously accepts and stalks away to return to one of his preferred places of the moment. With me calling after him, promising to be home until the next bi-weekly / monthly office meeting. He certainly is the lord of the manor … and that’s what I love so much about cats. They are genuine, individual and still enjoy company.

Happy 18th birthday, Spatzi! Many happy returns and healthy years to come!

MY LITTLE EVERYDAY ANNOYANCES

A funny book to get rid of your everyday annoyances …

Told you! Currently I have no clue what to write about since nothing is really happening. Which, on the one hand, is not bad at all and I’m quite happy about it. Who needs bad things happening!? Anyway, my life is kind of boring and every day mostly the same. Day in, day out, weekdays not much different to weekends. As much as I love home office, I leave my apartment even less than usual. I hardly need any groceries, shopping in general is something I think very hard about at the moment and taking walks without purpose is just a waste of time.

Sooo … not much happening. And I still get annoyed at a daily basis? More than once? Let’s see what I can come up with to piece together a post to survive another Saturday deadline.

1.) Every day of the working week is kind of annoying, isn’t it? Let’s start with Mondays! I hate Mondays, absolutely hate them! The week ahead seems endless and usually someone or something tends to be particularly annoying on Mondays. What a great start in the working week! Tuesdays: Tuesdays are so lá lá. They are just there. Another day to get over with. Wednesdays: a little ray of hope. Half of the week is basically over. Here in this area it’s called “Bergfest” (mountain party) – what a stupid expression, maybe someone invented it who thought it to be funny, but clearly wasn’t. Don’t ask me why it’s called “Bergfest”, especially since you can search for mountains with the magnifying glass – there are none.Thursdays: yeah, weekend straight ahead! Just one more day! Fridays: TGIF! Finishing off the last issues, everything seems to be slower, everyone’s mind is already halfway in the weekend and you’re lucky to reach anyone past 2 p.m. Including me!

2.) Getting up at 5:30. Sometimes I think I must be absolutely and completely mad. Why would I get up at 5:30 just to sit down at my desk and start work at 6:00? When I could sleep in, with my way to work a few steps away? Why not enjoy this luxury and put this much pressure to myselfinstead? It’s my bloody conscience and apart from being able to get a lot done in peace and quiet concentration before meetings start, I’m still annoyed with myself to not take it easier.

3.) Those horrible “musicians” screeching in front of my window. (The great pleasure of residing in a pedestrian street!) Hardly any day passes without one of those people gracing everyone with their non-skills. And annoying me in the early afternoons with the same day in, day out.

4.) Early morning street cleaners with their diesel-powered equipment blowing the waste towards the middle of the pedestrian street to be picked up by the following sweeper. How efficient! And how environmentally friendly! And how bloody noisy. In summer, I need to close the window whenever I have a MS Teams call because I just can’t hear a single word as they are marching and blowing away the waste below my window those awful people just threw away in the streets. 

5.) Those bloody E-scooters! Yeah, even in a provincial town like the one I’m residing in, E-scooters can be found cluttering the sidewalks. The middle of the sidewalks, of course. Lying around hindering everyone and everything, having to step over them or making a big detour. I can only imagine the horror in way larger cities like Berlin with those useless scooters being thrown down by likewise useless users who are unable to prop them up like well-brought up human beings.

6.) The news! Oh boy, why can’t I stop reading the news? When they tend to annoy me on a daily basis, wanting to start screaming and tearing my hair out?

Just take this idiot of an economy minister who wants to forbid gas and oil heating in Germany. Which planet has he dropped down from? Or which asylum escaped? Not to mention their brilliant ideas of only producing electric cars in the near future. Yeah, get real! Rare earths are exactly that … rare. And the “zero emission” fantasy is a fantasy as well. I really seem to be surrounded by the stupidest people. The climate activists? Don’t get me started on them! Should I ever encounter one of them I’d tear them from the streets, bloody hands and all and sentence them to heavy prison sentences and paying expenses for police, repairs and everything else. Bloody terrorists! And don’t get me started on former tennis star Boris Becker, who just should have stayed in jail. Or all those other Z promis and influencers.

Alright, I’ll stop right there before I need A) a large bar of chocolate, B) a huge cup of Earl Grey with plenty of sugar or C) my special friend to calm down.(Or all of the above!)

Have a great weekend! And less annoyances for your working week ahead! Toodleoo!

WHO AM I? Part 2

Speaking of better things to do …

Let’s start again, shall we? Alright, where were we? Personality test and the question to myself who I am! Organizational skills – check! (Covered not for the first time in the course of my blogging years, most recently when writing about my moving back to Austria preparations!)

Anyway, before I stray from the subject AGAIN, because my lists, home organization and everything in those regards is one of my favourite subjects, I’ll finally return to the personality test. Frankly, I was quite annoyed having to go through one of those “psycho tests” and even though the result was pretty accurate, there were questions which were utterly stupid and not one of the answers would fit.

The first part of the test were questions which had to be answered with clicking on the “right” picture. Like “What’s typical for you?” 1.) You clothe quite individually (as in weird) 2.) You collect exceptional things 3.) You buy the latest gadgets 4.) You follow the latest fashion. Gee none of those things! My clothing style is classic, colourful, elegant but doesn’t always have to be according to the latest fashion. I’ve always worn what I liked rather than the absolute latest fashion and have my clothes many many years since everything will be back in fashion at one time anyway. Collecting exceptional things? Do books count? I don’t think so. Is it already collecting if I have 20 sets of bed linens or some more tea sets than usual? Latest gadgets? I think I picked that one! After all, I do have the Apple collection of iPhone, iPad and MacBook, even though I do not exchange them whenever a new one comes out. That would just be stupid!

Another one of those questions I could have kicked to smithereens was “Someone addresses you in the street. Your first thought is … “ 1.) He wants to rob you. 2.) He wants to help you 3.) He begs for money 4.) He considers you attractive. What the hell? Really? My first thought would be “He wants to ask for the way!” Of course, this was not an option. Besides, you can already guess by the kind of person approaching you whether he is going to ask you for money. Me needing help? Why the hell would I need help just walking? Maybe if I were cluelessly looking at a map, wondering which way to go, then one might wonder if I needed help. And, oh, yeah, would you just approach someone on the street because of attractiveness? I would be horrified. I guess I still picked the ridiculous attractiveness answer. And I suspect this was just a point to show how insecure or self-confident you are. 

Part 2 was all about quick reaction, being a team player or lone wolf. With expressions, you had to move to the left or right hand side of the screen.

Part 3 was the most annoying and in the end I was so pissed off that I just didn’t care anymore and just clicked on something when it came to the numbers. I guess, I did better with the clock and shape stuff. Anyway, what made me so incredibly angry? I hate, hate hate hate logical number and shape games where you have to continue a row of numbers logically or pick the fourth picture of shape collection. You had 10 minutes and the clock was ticking, of course. And of course, with this psych game they wanted to check how you could deal with a stressful situation and your analytical skills.

Part 4 was built up like a project and how to manage it. In this case a sports competition with me being the trainer and how I would act in certain situations. Like … the weather is awful, would you have your group train anyway, train them even harder, skip the training and have hot chocolate instead because injuries would be unproductive, …

Well, I was glad when I was finally done with this personality test which then told me what I already knew. That I’m diplomatic, empathic, a team player, bloody organized and disciplined, performance-oriented with clear goals and that I don’t like tasks which are not structured. Gee, could have told them!But of course, they want to have “proof” by psychological specialists.

Whatever, I got through it, but thinking about it, I still roll my eyes about some of those ridiculous questions which absolutely didn’t have a logical and fitting answer to choose. My advice, though? If you know well in advance – or suspect – that the company you are interviewing for will require you to do a personality test, prepare. Just like a previous acquaintance of mine who did tons of sample logical tests weeks in advance, training exactly those “continue the row” situations. Well, I was not prepared, but if I had known, I would have tried out some of those tests just to get used to them. Frankly, it’s not my kind of everyday pastime pleasure to do logical puzzles. I have way better things to do …

WHO AM I? Part 1

Having to do a personality test for one of those large companies during the job search process I was wondering … who am I? Well, it’s obvious that I am organized to the hilt and reading articles or whole magazine issues of “how to declutter” and “how to organize yourself” just make me smile. Cause, I’m already doing all that. And I briefly wonder, what made me the way I am? Is it something learned? Inherited? In my genes? Probably a mixture of all the above. I do remember my parents being quite organized. My mum more than my dad. I remember my mum having file folders for insurances, household expenses, contracts, etc. – divided and labelled. Because, since my dad was away on business a lot she had to take care of everything. (The way I do now, and I might be even more structured and detailed than my mum!) In those days – when one still used to pay more with cash than with any kind of card – my mum also had a special box, lovingly remodelled by my dad by adding separate compartments which were labelled “cleaning products”, “food”, “hairdresser”, “gifts”, etc with a special amount of money distributed at the beginning of the month for the expenses of the month ahead. Of course, my mum also had a calendar book in which she entered the daily expenses to keep track. (Me? I’m a bit more up-to-date, but I do collect every receipt until my big end-of-year accounting, keep track of my monthly food and drugstore expenses, as well as Amazon, of course and enjoy updating my lists on a regular basis.)

My dad? He was organized as well, even though you wouldn’t have seen it on his desk, which was usually piled high with stacks of papers, newspapers and magazines to work through and cut out interesting articles or funny pieces to use for ingenious gift-wrappings or gift certificates. Not to mention recipes he wanted to try out one day. (Some of those stuck-on-paper and put-into-transparent cover scraps are still in my own recipe file folder. Yep, a real folder, to thumb through, not the online version.) But, you should have seen his tool cabinet in our storage room, our well-organized little cellar compartment, his suitcase and car trunk packing skills using every tiny bit of available space, his great travel planning without navigation system but plain old maps … so yes, I think, my parents taught and influenced me. And I’m lucky to have had such great role models.

Gee, that’s not quite what I had in mind when I thought of the title for this post and what I wanted to write about. But that’s often the way when writing, isn’t it? Straying from the subject. Thoughts, memories pushing their way through your fingers onto the paper – or keypad. But, well, since I’m a little low on halfway interesting writing ideas, I’ll just make this a two-parter … have a great and organized weekend! Kudos!