How to survive Christmas – Part I

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The time has come and Christmas is coming closer! And I’ve still not found back to my old happy Christmas self. You have to admit, it’s quite strenuous … So, for all those who are terribly afraid of the upcoming holidays, I’ve got a few tips for you:

  • Avoid the mall! If you don’t like to shop that shouldn’t be a problem at all! In any other case … ignore Number 1! As a shopping junkie it’s impossible to avoid the mall! You’ll just have to live with annoying Santas, overpowering Christmas decoration and bad Christmas songs!
  • Sedation is the key! Nothing better than a couple of Xanax or Valium to relax! Trust me, you sooo won’t care whether it’s Christmas or not! Everything is just one happy place!
  • Drown yourself in eggnog or mulled wine! Start in the morning and never stop until you go to bed at night! Is there any better way to get drunk? (And probably sick!) Besides, it’s keeping you warm in those cold winter days! (Especially if you are lucky enough to live in California, Florida, …)
  • Order in! Who’s the cook? Who? Who is? Not you! Forget the stressful cooking of Christmas dinner! (You never get it right anyway! You A) either forget something important like getting the turkey or B) are the worst cook in the universe and your family makes a face at the mere thought of eating what you’ve produced in looong hours!) Just order in and everyone will be happy and relaxed! Mostly you!
  • Use paper plates! They come in all different kinds of styles, look nice, are cheap AND you can just throw them away! No annoying loading the dishwasher and then putting everything away again. After all you don’t have time for such time-consuming housework. You need to keep watching “Walking dead” to get into real Xmas spirit.
  • Eat chocolate! This is strictly for women! Men don’t care about chocolate! They should stick with alcohol in whichever form available! But you, girls, get a huge supply of every kind of chocolate you can think of. BEFORE the holiday season starts! Preferably in September or October at the latest!
  • Believe in Santa! Deep in our hearts we do believe in Santa! Who else would be stupid enough to live on the North pole and distribute millions of gifts in just one night? In a sleigh, no less with eight reindeers of whom one has a red nose! What’s not to believe in that?
  • Call in sick! Now, that option has several advantages! First, you can buy all your Christmas gifts peacefully. Online. From the comfortable position on your sofa. Second, you can hide the worst time out! Third, you can skip Christmas parties and those embarrassing situations you usually get into when you drink a little too much alcohol!
  • Self-gift! I think I don’t have to tell you! Or have you ever left a shop without buying something for yourself as well? Admit it, even at hardware stores or electronics stores you will find something that attracts you girls. Men have a little more self-control!

Darn! My self-proclaimed limit of approximately 500 words per posting is up! So, I guess I will continue to bore you with my Christmas survival tips next week!

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A nice one

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A friend recently told me he’d love to read a „nice, feel-good“ article for once. Since he’s of the opinion I’m too sarcastic at times. (Really? Am I?) So, my dear friend, this one is for you!

The problem is, I don’t have a clue how to write an article that’s A) nice, B) not boring and C) neither sarcastic nor vicious, has nothing to do with politics, religion or Donald Trump.

Let’s see, I’ve got 79 words! Darn, still at least 300 to go! Sorry, my friend, I’m falling back into my usual behaviour of NOT being nice. I’ll try to do better!

Of course there have been incidents in my life that were funny, joyous or just plain “nice”. But nothing right now strikes me worth writing about. (Alright, I admit it, I can’t pinpoint on anything I haven’t already written about!)

Maybe … maybe I could just write about of what makes me happy!? That’s nice, right? (Apart from shopping, of course!) I’m talking about the things you can’t buy! (Even though a new pair of shoes makes me VERY happy! Damnit! There it is again! Evil M, evil evil M!)

Sitting here in my library corner, with my relaxing cup of Earl Grey to get into nice writing mood, I close my eyes and let my mind wander, thinking about the immaterial things that make me happy.

Standing at the railing of a ferry or cruise ship, looking out to the ocean or lake, having the wind tousle my hair, watching the waves crash at the hull of the ship, smelling the salty air and water … and I remember! The wonderful transatlantic crossing on the Queen Mary II from New York to Southampton with nothing else than the endless ocean around me, the beautiful trip from Vancouver to Vancouver Island, with all those small islands passing by. The 45 minute ferry ride to my favourite North Sea Island Borkum, which I always spend on deck, no matter the weather. And the boat trip on our very own Carinthian lake Millstätter See with the mountains and woods on one side and soft green hills and lakeside villages on the other.

I remember swimming in Lake Powell with the sun going down, surrounded by those beautiful glowing red rocks, majestically shining down on me. I could have stayed forever.

I remember the hidden orchard in Arizona, closed in by steep rocks, where you could pick your own apples and peaches, the most delicious I have ever tasted. And I remember the small oasis by the small river in Bolivia, surrounded by the Lithium desert, where everything was lush and beautiful.

I remember strolling around Venice in November, the fog circling my feet, touristless streets and the peace that came over me.

And I just love to spend evenings in a nice high-rise hotel room, with the big windows overlooking the streets, just cuddling on a sofa or comfy chair with a cup of hot tea or cocoa in the dark, looking outside as the world passes by, staring at the thousands of lights, wondering what other people are doing. Or just …

My friend, you know who you are. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it, remembering … remembering what makes me happy. Guess this will have to find a continuation one day …

(Pic courtesy of my sister, showing the Millstätter See in Carinthia, my childhood swimming haunt in summer and ice skating fun in winter)

Bed, bath and what???

The most curious thing happened the other day! And now you are already wondering, what has happened to me with a title like that? What does it even mean? I’ll come to that in a second!

Bored I was surfing the TV channels and got stuck with the 80s series “Married … with children”. I’m sure you all remember Al Bundy, Peggy, Bud and Kelly. Of course, you do. And since it was German TV – I’m living in Germany, so German TV is the normal standard – I had to listen to the Bundys in German synchronization. Laughing out loud about Jay Leno being exchanged with former German talk show personality Harald Schmidt. Do you guys know Harald Schmidt? Of course not! Didn’t think so!

And was once again reminded that German synchronizations and movie title translations totally suck. At least they did in the 80s and 90s. I have to admit it has improved with guys like David Letterman not being replaced anymore. Because we are cosmopolitan enough to recognize the name.

One of the funniest things I came across was while watching the movie “Old School” with Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn. I nearly fell off my couch laughing my head off when Vince Vaughn mentioned in one scene that his wife had been shopping at “Bett, Bad und Boden” which should stand for “Bed, Bath and Beyond” of course but was actually translated as “Bed, Bath and Floor”. I had to rewind, cause I couldn’t believe whether I had heard right. I had!

In those times of my youth they translated absolutely everything and I won’t even mention how some movie titles were translated. It’s just too embarrassing and you’d either be totally flabbergasted or sue our German/Austrian broadcasters’ butts because of “cruelty to the American people”.

Some of the worst experiences I had – and still have – are watching synchronized American sitcoms. The one or other is pretty well translated and the chosen voices acceptable. Others, however, I find hilariously funny in the original version and can’t crack a smile over in German. Like … John Lithgow in “Third rock from the sun”. He is absolutely brilliant, his facial expressions paired with his vocal ones … incredible. I just can’t stop laughing whenever I watch it on DVD. The same experience I had to suffer with “The big bang theory”. It’s sad. It’s just sad.

In German, it’s so dull I actually have to switch channels so that I don’t hit the TV set with something when it’s on. (And usually I’m not a violent person! Most of the time!)

One of the few exceptions – from the good old times, since the synchronization situation has definitely improved – is Bruce Willis’ voice. It’s perfect! Hunkily perfect, much deeper than his original voice, so it’s totally weird hearing him say “Yippie-Ki-Yay, Motherfucker!” in a much higher voice.

Another very rare exception from the old times – as in the 70s – was the series “The Persuaders” (followed by “Jason King” and “Department S”). You remember Tony Curtis and Roger Moore? Surprisingly I learned that it was not exactly a hit in the States and Great Britain. And I just didn’t understand why, only knowing the German version … until I came across the one or other episode not synchronized … oh boy! I so got it then! I really did! Boringly boring! … The German version was synchronized by two genius men speaking the parts of Lord Brett Sinclair and Danny Wilde, using a language you could only describe as 70s Berlin youth slang. It’s so ridiculously funny that even I stick to German and German only! (And that should tell you something!)

Anyway, let me just say that – compared to series from all over the world – you Americans and British (sorry, no experience with Australian series :-)) just have a knack for it to produce the funniest sitcoms ever! Let’s just hope synchronizations will be done more carefully in the future!

This is how it started

Remember my very first posting? Where I briefly introduced myself and scratched the topic of my writing obsession? I have been going back in time mentally recently, trying to remember when it all really started. So many years have passed … but I guess it all really started in the 90s, on my first single trip which led me to Venice in winter. Venice, Italy, by the way. Not Venice, California. Why would I even go to Venice in California in winter?

Anyway, where was I? Right, my first single trip to Venice. It was exciting, getting on the night train in Austria and getting off it in the morning in Venice. It was a sunny day as I stepped onto the Vaporetto (ferry boat) to get off at the Rialto bridge to search for my hotel. (Those were still the times I had to use a real map instead of my iPhone’s Google map app!)

The sun soon vanished and was replaced by cold, rain and fog and most of my time I spent in cosy little cafes with my yellow pad and ballpoint, just writing. About my thoughts, my dreams, my observations … and yes, in those days a Macbook or smartphone was still something futuristic just like the ingenious inventions from Q for 007. So, as incredible as it might seem nowadays, I was quite oldfashionably writing by hand. (And sometimes I still prefer doing that. There’s just something incredibly satisfying hearing the rustling of paper as my pen is scratching on the surface … and no one is able to read it cause my handwriting is just awful!)

So, Venice is the place where it really started and everything else just kind of happened. Imagining various “What if” scenarios, the short stories about another life turned into longer ones until I had filled hundreds, thousands of pages, living and travelling to different parts of the world, researching extensively, doing all those things I couldn’t do as a student. Being me, just somewhere else. In the later years, I also started to write short articles, just because there were topics I needed to comment on. Like crazy Tom Cruise jumping around on Oprah’s couch, Paris Hilton and her jail time, the US election with Sarah Palin – the hockey mum with lipstick who could see Russia from her home -, TV shows, shopping, religion, holidays, travelling, incredible stuff I had seen on TV and needed to comment … some of this older stuff will be posted in the course of time together with new stuff. Since my need to write is back, I decided to do the 21st century approach and start a blog, curious how many out there will actually read what I’m thinking …

 

How to survive a boring lecture

IMG_2110 2Well, I’m not a student anymore, but was one once! So, this posting is for all those stuck at university having to endure a very boring lecture by an even more boring lecturer. All tried and proved working!

  • Sleep without being caught! Now, how do you best do that? First of all: DON’T sit in the first row! The further back the better, it’s not advisable to lay your head down on the desk. THAT only attracts attention. Cover your forehead with one hand, stare at your papers and pretend to read them. That way you look busy and can easily sleep the one or other round. In case the situation gets dicey, ask your friend to wake you up! (Hopefully he/she won’t be asleep as well, cause the two of you were partying until the wee hours together!) Otherwise … well, let me say, it can be a humiliating experience.
  • Listen to the latest sports game! The longer your hair the better! Guys, you are at a disadvantage there. Since it’s not quite easy hiding ear plugs if your head is clean shaven. The question is: do us girls really want to listen to sports? But boys, there’s always a solution! There are really cool wigs around, even ones directly sewn into baseball caps. Is that awesome or what? Perfect disguise! Just be careful not to shout out loud when your favourite team wins the game! Or loses!
  • Actually try to follow! That’s the hardest part! After all boring lectures are exactly that: boring! So actually following it can be unnerving and extremely exhausting! Even after the first thirty minutes you’ll wonder what the hell you are doing there. Now imagine it’s a blocked session and you have to face three or four hours in the morning and the same in the afternoon. Desperation will sink in and you wonder how to survive that! Try to follow? Bad idea in this case! But there are a few more options left for you!
  • Have a coffee break! You either bring your own Starbucks Grande Soy Latte – wishful thinking on my part, Starbucks was not existent in my university town – or sneak out of the lecture hall and get your delicious dishwater coffee from the coffee vending machine. If you are very adventurous, head to the next coffee shop off campus. That way you get some fresh air and a break to recharge your lecture batteries.
  • Send text messages and therefore stay in contact with your friends. Just don’t forget to turn off sound and vibration. There’s nothing more embarrassing than having the National Anthem playing in the middle of a lecture. Or exam! (Which happened to me once and yes, I, an Austrian, had the American National Anthem as my ringing tone!)
  • Daydream! Oh yeah! I love that choice! You can think of everything and everyone while staring at your lecturer! He’ll think you are sooo interested, following his every word while in reality you’re on a lonely island, with this gorgeous guy sitting a couple of rows in front of you, relaxing from your hard studies!
  • Take copies of your favourite book and entertain yourself … be careful not to laugh out loud, better take a romance. Hold on, NO crying! The safest bet would be a crime novel or mystery. Less dangerous! Or – in case you are a literature buff – literature. You won’t have to feel bad for that since you’ll expand your general knowledge of the world. My preferences? Moliere, Nestroy, Shakespeare, Kleist, Goethe, …
  • Study for another subject – the most efficient way to pass the time even though it’s the most boring one as well. I don’t have much more to comment on that, do I?
  • Doodle! Doodling is fun! Remember your high school years? When you had a crush on Michael / Peter / Jason / … and you drew little hearts and initials all over your books and papers and binders and … so, why not take up your hobby again and doodle away? There are no rules!
  • Just get through it! Face it! Apart from staying at home in the first place there’s nothing else than just get through it!

So, have a happy lecture and don’t get discouraged! Time always passes … one way or another!

Are you superstitious?

Doing a little research recently I randomly browsed the net, jumping from one page to another and came across one that’s too good to not use for my blog: superstitions. As old as mankind … and as silly! You have no idea the amount I found and can’t help but sharing some of them with you. The ones with animals in them – for now:

  • A dog eating grass means rain! Boy, it should pour everywhere then all the time! With hundreds and thousands of dogs around … just take a city like LA. Sunny most of the year. With who knows how many dogs eating grass because they’ve been fed pancakes and chocolate and pizza by their spoiling owners! Still sunny at your place? Here it definitely is …
  • It’s bad luck if you’ve been followed by a strange dog! Now, don’t be so mean! Maybe the cutie pie following you just likes you, is homeless and wants to go home with you! That just can’t be bad luck! Well, maybe if the dog has fleas and you’ve got to sanitize your apartment after the dog moved in. (Maybe you should just move out then and get a new apartment!)
  • Eating a hair from a horse’s forelock is a cure for worms! A) You either get worms because of eating it or B) The worms are so disgusted they’re leaving for themselves! This marvellous health tip also doesn’t point out HOW to eat the hair. Swallow it down in one big lump? Chew it piece for piece? Can you cook it with veggies? How does horse hair soup sound? Okay! I’ll stop before you get sick! And me too …
  • To see an adder means bad luck, to kill an adder means good luck. Those two just can go hand in hand! My advice: if you see an adder, shoot it! Bad luck turns into good luck, so you’re basically as well off as in the beginning!
  • If a bird poops on your car it’s good luck! How can that be good luck? I bet something like that happens when you don’t have Windex and Kleenex in your car because you used it up for your LAST lucky bird poop on your car. Lucky, lucky you!
  • If bird droppings land on your head, it means good luck! What!!! On my head too? Not just my car? Ohhh, yeah! Especially if you have an important meeting and are already late. Maybe they just say it’s good luck to not make you one of those freaked out girls, running around, shouting at everyone and everything, trying to catch this damn bird who spoiled your perfect coiffure!
  • Sitting backwards on a donkey is a cure for snake bites and toothache. Do I really have to comment on that? There are several problems. Say, a snake bites you. Do you first go on the search for a donkey or a doctor? Or maybe a doctor with a donkey? I assure you, you’ll be dead before you find either! And the toothache? Well, I can actually believe that your toothache will be gone after you’ve ridden a donkey for an hour. But only because you won’t have any teeth left that could hurt.

Well, I hope I have improved your weekend by entertaining you with a few old fashioned superstitions – and not those boring ones like Friday the 13th and black cats. Have an accidental free week, and please, don’t hunt any pooping birds.

Austria? Australia?

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No, cangaroos don’t live in Austria! They hop around in Australia! (Although it would be fun seeing them jumping around in Austrian woods or the mountains befriending deer and chamois!) Completely different country! Completely different CONTINENT! Couldn’t be farther away! Well, okay, maybe the North Pole is actually farther away from Australia than Austria but let’s not get into such small matters right now!

You are wondering what makes me pick up such a ridiculous topic? Being the intelligent readers that you are – who else would read my highly intellectual stuff once a week – of course you know that Austria is not Australia. Does it surprise you, though, that it happened more than once when being asked of my nationality that I received the joyful reply, “Oh, Australia!” I don’t think my English is THAT bad … Of course, everyone knows Australia. It’s the continent criminals were shipped to escape certain death in British prisons a few hundred years ago … which doesn’t mean many didn’t died on the gruelling way to the far away colony … so, of course you know Australia. And after all, it’s surfer’s paradise over there.

Whereas Austria is … where the hell is Austria? It’s this small European country wedged between Germany, Czech, Hungary, Slovakia, Solvenia, Italy, Switzerland and Liechtenstein. We are a democratic republic, but oh, how I wish we still had our royals … in those times Austria actually was huge … it was said that the sun never set in those times because of its size.

So, when I try to think of Austria like a tourist would do, the first things that pop into my mind are: Mozart, Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Sound of Music, Sacher Torte, Apfelstrudel, Wiener Schnitzel and the Philharmonic Orchestra.

And no, we also don’t run around in our traditional clothing called “Dirndl” all the time. If ever we just wear them, then to amuse tourists. There even might be some special traditional occasions in one of our many, many tiny mountain villages where “Dirndls” still are the latest fashion. And no, you will NOT see me in a Dirndl. Never ever. Not even for a fun pic … well, maybe for that … I haven’t planned that one out yet. Since I don’t possess a Dirndl or anything resembling traditional clothing sporting edelweiss designs on every clothing item.

Funny fact: if you ask Austrians about the musical “The sound of music” they would look at you cluelessly, wondering what the hell you are talking about. You might find the one or other Austrian from an older generation, though, who still remembers the “Trapp family” (if you mention the Trapp name as part of your “Sound of Music” explanation) and the movie from the 1950s with Hans Holt and Ruth Leuwerik. Why do I know then? Well, I’m a musical buff … and old movies from the 40s, 50s and 60s were the usual Sunday afternoon TV programme on Austrian TV when I was a kid …

Anyway, now that I have annoyed you enough for the weekend, I wish you a good week …

A new experience

I’m not a very religious person! Well, actually I’m not religious at all! I don’t like the current pope, I didn’t like the old one and very likely I won’t like the next one. Big changes would need to happen. But of course that won’t happen either … cause it would mean that then the Catholic church would lose lots of influence and money. Just imagine if priests were allowed to marry … had kids officially … an unthinkable concept.

But then, something happened to me. Don’t expect a life shattering experience now. I was not abducted by aliens! The Holy Mary didn’t appear before my very eyes, nor did Jesus or any other biblical person – who I certainly wouldn’t even recognize! And I certainly wasn’t caught by a sect like a fly in a spider’s web!

No, I was shopping. Okay, some of you might cry out loud now and say, “Shopping! That’s my religion too! I’m not alone! Thanks God, I’m not alone!”

(Just let me tell you, shopping loving girls, I love shopping as much as every single one of you, but that’s not what my life shattering experience is about!) Where was I? Yeah, right! I was shopping! At a big department store. Looking for expensive cosmetics cause I just had to had my favourite Chanel face cream. (I will let you guess how much I had to fork over for a small pot of it! It’s too embarrassing to even mention, since it certainly can’t be much better than a cheap version from the drugstore! Darn, I seem to get distracted today all the time, writing what I don’t want to write, straying from the topic I actually want to write about!)

So, I was shopping! When suddenly – here it comes – the walking stick of an elderly African American lady crashed to the floor in front of me. Having been brought up well by my parents I automatically bent down and picked it up to hand it back to her. And then she said the words I’d have never expected to hear in my lifetime as the non-religious person I am, “God bless you!”

God bless you! I expected a simple “Thank you!” and got a “God bless you!”

These three little words caressed my soul, as incredible as this might seem, my heart went out to that strange woman and I had the immediate urge to start talking to her. Pausing for a few precious minutes in our stressful world to spend some time with another person to maybe make her feel less lonely. Flabbergasted as I was, I just replied instead with a “You’re welcome!” and went my way to browse around for some more expensive cosmetics. But, and that’s what got me writing about it in the first place, I’m still thinking about it, although it happened quite a while ago. And I’m still cherishing this tiny moment, which just made me smile and feel happy. Doesn’t everyone deserve that?

Magazines, magazines, …

IMG_2114I confess! I’m addicted to magazines! Not surprising, you say? Since I’m a woman and that’s just what women do? Becoming addicted to stupid, cheap magazines? The more gossip the better? Are you wondering why we just can’t live without all those magazines out there? And there are plenty of them. I might have a few answers for you guys then!

  • They provide us with small talk material! Chatting about the weather is sooo yesterday (unless you are in Britain where this is just bon ton). We’d rather spice up boring parties with the latest gossip – and not only what’s going on at the office! We are Cosmopolitan and have a huge knowledge of every single celebrity and being European the various royals have become like a second family. You think that’s not important? Boring? Silly? After all who wants to know which starlet shags which star? Guys, we do! It’s deception, murder and mayhem out there! YOU have your cars, sports and politics! We have fashion, gossip, interior decoration, …
  • They help us solving relationship problems! Are you sighing now cause your girlfriend/wife has just confronted you with the latest love questionnaire? Complaining you’re not sensitive enough? Do you remember the fights you had after that? Wondering how those weirdo psychologists can come up with stupid tests month after month? Telling you what an insensitive bastard you are even though they don’t even know you? And are you trying to hide those magazines? Not very successfully? I feel for you! I really do! Unfortunately, us women can be so gullible! Especially in herds, ripping you poor boys apart because you left your socks lying around AGAIN! But rest assured, we would be even more difficult to endure without our beloved professional relationship advice …
  • What else shall we read at hair and beauty salons to get pretty for YOU? You guys probably spend half an hour every other month at the barber – or more like 10 minutes? – and that’ a complete waste of your precious time, isn’t it? After all, time is money, right? Well, what are we supposed to say? It’s hours for us! New hair colour, hair masque, new cut, drying, straightening or curling, not to mention manicures and pedicures … everything just for you! And in the process we have to be careful what to tell the hair stylists since they manage to squeeze you dry like a lemon. They would make fabulous spies for sure. (I once heard that the city with the highest spy density is Washington … if I were you, I would be very careful what to tell your Washingtonian hairdresser! Maybe not as critical in small towns, your life stories will merely spread through the town like a wildfire!) So, tell me, what else shall we do except catching up on the latest gossip, cooking recipes – to surprise you with something new and delicious, hopefully -, fashion – again, we’re just dressing up for you guys, we would be happy in sweat suits and without 10 inch heels – and whatever else is out there to annoy you and amuse us!

But cheer up! There could be worse than women getting information how to be more fashionable, a more perfect housewife and mother, a better lover or incredible interior decorator. After all, that’s what you really want, don’t you?

Oh, and by the way! Elvis is still alive! He was last seen in a little Colorado town being abducted by aliens!

This is goodbye

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You were the one! The one for me! The one I could imagine anything! Without panicking at the thought of being together all the time, too used to being alone. Because of the way you are, because of the way I am! Because talking and communicating in English was normal for us – a German and an Austrian. Because you never thought me weird, my need to organize and plan everything, supported my work and my love for writing, because you liked ME, all about me! Because we shared so much, the way we live, the way we like to travel, where we like to travel to, our style, our love for books, culture, museums. But we had to face too many obstacles. Too many to hang on. Both of us unhappy but you were not ready yet to change things. To be selfish for once and think of your happiness. To take a chance with me. To be happy again.

Days turned into weeks, months, where we didn’t see each other. Because of your workload, the distance, your responsibilities. I tried. I tried to be patient and keep going somehow, but in the end, it wasn’t enough. Too much had happened, too many disappointments, too many cancelled dates, trips. All our plans … going up in smoke. Again and again. And I felt lonelier than ever. Even though you were in my life. But not enough. Never enough!

I would have given you everything! All of me! And it hurts so much that we never really had a chance.

A friend once told me to enjoy it as long as it’s fun and end it if it’s making me miserable. As if that were so easy when feelings are involved. Fearing that there won’t be anyone for me after knowing someone like you. Even though you are far from perfect and I know all your faults. It’s the hardest decision I have ever had to make. But I couldn’t go on. I just couldn’t without losing myself in the process.

I don’t know yet how to get over it. How to go on. Never seeing you again, never talking to you again, never wrapping my arms around you again. There’s just me and my memories. As if WE had never existed. But I need to go on with my life, trying to find someone who can give me what I need and deserve. Goodbye, Jens