This week’s posting is actually a piece I wrote a few years back. But with the tragic events that happened in the States in November 2016 – yes, I am talking about the election of Donald Trump (shudder) as new president (shudder again) – with everything getting worse by the minute, I don’t want to keep this little fun piece from you.
It all started with a short report on TV about – now, get this – toddlers in all kinds of wigs in LA, which was the latest hype. And this is what played out in my mind, as I was imagining the following scene:
I picture myself strolling down Hollywood Boulevard, getting the shock of my life when I see a little toddler wearing a strangely familiar hairstyle in form of a blond wig. My first reaction is pure horror, followed by laughter boiling inside me. I can’t resist walking up to the obviously toting mother – who else would protect a baby’s head with a blond wig? – and hiding my urge to shake her violently to get some sense into her, asking her with a fake, a very fake smile, “Excuse me! But where did you get this gorgeous wig?”
(Note the slight irony in my voice … maybe I should punish myself now for being so mean!)
The answer is – at least for me – a laughing matter, “You can get it anywhere! It’s the latest fashion and you just have to have it! My cutie-pie loves it!”
Really? This let’s another question arise! Is it a boy or a girl? Who knows what goes on in minds of mothers who torture their toddlers with wigs … But I’m clever enough NOT to enrage the mother and inquire about the not obvious gender of her child. But why? Why this weird windswept style I still cannot place?
“Isn’t that obvious?”
Of course not or I wouldn’t have asked! Which is why I reply, “Ahem, I don’t see it right now!”
The proud mother, “It’s supposed to be a copy of Donald Trump’s hair, you know, the tycoon and “You are fired” Apprentice host!”
Donald Trump! Man, do I feel STUPID!!! Of course I see it now! (Kind of!)
The toddler is wriggling in its mother’s arms, suddenly the wig is on backwards and I’m trying very hard not to burst out laughing. Not very successfully. This would be one of those occasions where your only chance of getting out of this situation is pretending to suffer from a sudden coughing fit.
However, in my mind, I’m unable to leave yet! I still need to know … are there others around?
Yes, there are! PINK’s (the popstar) hairstyle is about as en vogue and a bestseller as Bob Marley’s big curly hair. I don’t even know what’s worse … well, Donald Trump probably already IS the worst choice. Just imagine having a tiny duplicate Trump crawling around at home! Eerie, plain and simple!
After another few pleasantries – I do know how to behave, sometimes – I leave, shaking my head, imagining what people would say if they saw a toddler in a PINK wig in the middle of summer in the small Austrian town I used to live in! Guess I’d be carted off to the next lunatic asylum for sure!
Sorry for not providing you with an appropriate headliner pic … you didn’t really think I would throw my hard-earned money out the window ordering a Donald Trump toddler wig just for this post, did you? Anyway, hope you enjoyed this little excursion into my literary past … maybe it’s not that out of date after all, with the new president in town! This might be the revival of the Donald Trump toddler wig hype!