Beware, dear readers! This is another one of my “older” pieces! But the images are still in my mind … I’m not gonna tell what those images are or you won’t keep reading to find out … so, here it is, from some time ago:
I nearly fell off my couch the other day when the latest news hit me in form of a German TV broadcast. The opening of the first dog disco was announced!
Alright! I got used to the idea of seeing toddlers in weird PINK-Donald Trump-Bob Marley wigs! But a dog disco? A dog disco??? Fascinated I was glued to the TV screen, watching young – blonde – women not only sprucing themselves up but also their barely there Paris Hilton style dogs. And with Paris Hilton style dogs I mean tiny, often naked – as in without fur – yapping, ankle biting creatures. I have difficulties calling them “dogs” since they neither look like dogs – although their loud, whiny barking and sharp little teeth they sink into everything and anything that resembles a moving object proves them otherwise – nor are treated like dogs, more like “cute” accessories being carried around in designer handbags.
They are being bathed – the most luxurious bubble bath -, dried in fluffy pink towels and with special dog hairdryer, styled with doggy hair products, dressed in pink / light blue or any other “in” colour and off they go.
The dog disco itself serves alcohol to the dog mummies and different kinds of bottled water to the little darlings, who can then spend their “evening out” chasing each other and peeing everywhere on a small green patch while the ladies dance to the latest songs of Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson! (Well, I realize they are not quite so hot anymore, but remember, this little article happened to be written a while back!)
I’m sure those blondies are among the dog disco’s best clients. But, I have to admit, kudos to whoever had the idea of making money with it. Congratulations! You are brilliant! A dog disco is the perfect enterprise for a city like LA! With model and actress wannabes, the highest percentage of beauty surgeries in the country and more crazy people than anywhere else. But I’m sure the other big cities will follow suit in no time, dog discos and parties swapping over to the other continents as well.
By the way, I’ll let you in on a well-kept secret: I’m a natural blonde as well, who has chosen to darken her dark blonde tresses some while ago. The reason? That’ll be another posting altogether. So … I’ll always be allowed to poke fun at blonde women … 😉