Are you sighing now, loudly, taking a sip from your still hot morning coffee, trying to decide whether you should even bother continue reading this week’s posting? Are you wondering, “Who the hell is this woman? She’s from a little insignificant country (your words, not mine), more liberal than anyone I know, insults our faith AND doesn’t like children?”
Well, yeah, what can I say! I’m not a big kids’ person and I’m not afraid to admit that. Even though strangely they seem to always get drawn to me! I’m scowling at them, ignore them and absolutely refrain from making cow eyes and cooing sounds at the mere sight … maybe that’s exactly why they like me. Cause I don’t treat them like idiots but normal persons.
Women pushing their strollers around? I’m keeping clear from them so that I don’t have to feign interest in a squealing little something! Mothers with toddlers? The circle is getting wider until they are of a certain age and I dare to creep closer again!
I can see you shaking your head, wanting to throw your smartphone, tablet, laptop, desktop PC far away and swear never to read my blog again? Don’t! I’ll give you a quick rundown on WHY in general I’m not the biggest kids’ fan!
Years 0-2: they need constant supervision! Being fed, changed, played with … going out, just to get a simple cup of coffee, is pure hell! You stop putting on makeup, run around in sweats, are leaking milk and are constantly tired! Not to mention those damn extra pounds hugging your hips and just won’t go away! Your partner is annoyed by having to play second fiddle and sex becomes a pleasure between feeding times – if ever and in case you are not too exhausted!
Years 3-5: the toddler is demanding more and more of your free time! It starts to speak, wants to know things not even scientists could answer and you have to have them in your sight all day long so as they won’t do anything stupid! (Which they usually do like eating anything they can find in the dirt, from worms to …) Kindergarten starts, you have to drive them to play dates and talk to other mothers about – yeah, guess what – KIDS! The sex? Still not better! Maybe you can arrange for a babysitter from time to time to get away – just to be called back home because your little one suddenly got sick! And there goes the hot sex again …
Years 6-neverending: school starts! Ah, finally, a few hours to yourself! But don’t worry, they will be filled with other school activities like meetings with other mothers to discuss the horrible school food, the even more horrible horrible teacher who dared to announce that your kid is a little brat, … Then there are the PTA meetings, taking your kids to sports, music classes, art classes, the psychologist … until 18 years have passed, your kid moves away to attend university and you wonder where the past years have gone! You’re divorced by now cause your partner couldn’t take it anymore. That he married a lover and got a mother and housewife instead …
Enough reasons NOT to become a mother? For me it was and still is! Even though I have to admit there are brief moments I wonder what it would be like when I’m looking at HIM, picturing him with our little one. But those moments are gone in a flash again and I appreciate the freedom to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Being able to be spontaneous. Travelling, dinners, museums, concerts … and all the other things one enjoys so much.
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