Hi there! Welcome back! Happy you are back here reading this week’s posting! Only a few days left! Which means, you’re either in Christmas mood, decorating everything and everyone – even your husband / boyfriend / partner – or you just want to survive the next week without killing anyone or falling into a deep depression. Before you start slaughtering those happy Christmas lovers I suggest you’d rather follow my instructions: we left off with No 9 last week, so guess what’s next!
10.) Whistle while you work! It will annoy your co-workers no end – especially if you tune in on Christmas carols or the BEST Christmas song ever: Last Christmas by Wham! – and cheer YOU up in the process. You might even succeed in turning former Christmas lovers into Christmas haters. Wouldn’t that be a nice change? Just imagine a work place without singing Santas, fake wreaths and mini blinking Christmas trees!
11.) Wear reindeer sweaters! It’s the only time of the year you won’t look completely stupid. Alright, maybe you will! But at least you will make others laugh out loud. Consider it your good deed of the year! (You need at least one good deed or Santa won’t bring you any gifts!)
12.) Flee to the tropics! Sun, sun and more sun! For those of you who already live in sunny climates … why not go somewhere hotter? I have to disappoint you, though! Wherever there are tourists Christmas won’t be far! Just face it! You can’t escape it if you’re not hiding out on a lonely island! And even there will probably a Robinson Crusoe who decorates a palm tree!
13.) Eat more chocolate! That goes without saying, doesn’t it? Cookies will work too! But forget all those diet fat-free versions! Only the real deal works!
14.) Enter therapy! If you aren’t already in one, do it now! Quickly! Besides, what would you do with all the spare money you saved by not getting any Christmas gifts? Forget the new car you desperately need or education fees for your kids! Psychologists are your future! And they need new cars too!
15.) Wear elastic waistbands! So, you’ve gone through with the whole Christmas thing! Including Christmas cookies, eggnog, lots of alcohol and buffets at various Christmas parties and now you’re facing at least three days of family festivities. Your family, your partner’s family, your pet’s family … and whoever else deserves a turkey with all the trimmings. So, wearing comfortable clothes is the only option to survive those days!
16.) Get a new family! Okay, that might not be as easy as it sounds! Maybe Kim Kardashian wants to adopt you? At least you won’t have to do everything yourself! Servants decorate the house, cook dinner, buy gifts and wrap them! All you have to do is appear on Christmas Eve and that’s it!
17.) Consider the alternative! Now, that I have given you a few ideas how to survive this year’s Christmas holiday season you might realize that Christmas is not that bad after all! What would be the alternative? (And believe me, I know the difference all too well!) No gifts, no Christmas turkey, no family hangouts and little feuds to keep everything interesting!
I know, everyone’s sighing at the prospect of Christmas but we have to admit it! A year without Christmas would just be awful and very depressing! And again, I do know what I’m talking about!
So, I wish you a great pre-Christmas time! And take it easy! Santa’s only human too!