Killer on the loose II

Remember me? I’m the buginator, equipped with all kinds of bug killing equipment and methods. In my last posting my Louboutin shoes plus boxes, Chanel No 5 and liquid nitrogen found use in my bug hunt. And since you’re reading this right now I presume you’d like to know what else I have come up with.

  • Poison! I love poison! The more the merrier! Your home improvement retailer is a wonderful source to get all kinds of bug sprays and I enjoy nothing more than buying everything available. I also got a special tool belt in which to store all those cans and you can see me sneaking around, armed to the teeth to spray kill a fly, an ant, a cockroach, a wasp, a mosquito, a spider … you name it, I got the right poison to kill it!
  • Your car! The faster you drive the more bugs you’ll kill on the way! The bigger your car, the more bugs you’ll kill! So, what’s the conclusion? Buy big cars and drive fast to kill off as many bugs as possible! The downside? It might be a wee bit difficult to use your car in your house just to hunt down one bug.
  • Shoot it! A) You get some shooting practice in case someone dares to break into your house – or you need to accidentally kill off your husband! (Oops, sorry, Darling! You were in the bug’s way!) B) It’s fun! C) It’s even more fun! D) Hey, you always wanted to remodel anyway! Those few holes look quite charming and give your house character! You could also brag to your guests that Bugsy Malone lived in your suburban house, hiding from the Feds. Apart from that, big hunts are the new party games!
  • Your new flame thrower! Who doesn’t have a flame thrower at home? They can be so useful! And if you don’t have one yet, it’s high time you get one! Naturally bugs are not fire resistant and the plus point is you don’t have to scrape off bloody remains. Bugs incinerate instantly, leaving either a crispy corpse or ash behind! On the other hand, there’s some soot to deal with! But smoky interiors are so IN now, I tell you!
  • Drowning! May require some leisure time, since bugs are very difficult to drown. So, if you’ve got a little spare time on your hands and are of the masochist kind, that’s the way to go!
  • Should everything else fail or you’re just too lazy to get the killing done yourself, professional exterminators will do the job for you! Hunting down every single one of those annoying little buggers, having fun by doing so!

Well, I hope I’ve given you a few inspirations! I’m always open for more bug killing methods, yours M


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