THE STUPIDITY OF MAN IS LIMITLESS

Some things make me so mad I could jump through the roof. Well, we have covered Trump and his cronies recently, so I won’t go there. Even though there would already be lots to write about AGAIN, like his ridiculous and racist attacks on Biden’s VP pick, his obvious sabotage of the USPS and the upcoming election etc. etc. I guess there isn’t one single day I don’t get mad at this guy. But … I’m not going there. No, I won’t.

What currently makes me even madder – and made me use this title – is the current situation here in Germany and Europe in general. We have been sooo careful these past months, basically being admired by other states for our “low” infection cases and reaction time in terms of part lockdowns. And now? Everything down the drain by some stupid people.

1. The teenagers: They once again totally prove my point, that I just don’t like this age group. They just don’t seem to get that by being the irresponsible human beings they are they not only endanger everyone around by their partying and need to socialize all the time but their own grandparents as well. But since grandparents only seem to be good at being gift givers (as in money, money, money please), there’s not much love lost anyway. Oh, and by the way, dear parents! It is YOUR bloody job to get your brats in line and make them understand that they are killing your loved ones!
2. The protesters: 20.000 conspiracy theorists, Nazis and stupid people who just follow the herds not knowing what they are even protesting against … meeting in Berlin. Most of them without masks. Social distancing? What for!? I propose the following measures and punishments: Apart from my dearest wish they drop dead like flies due to their irresponsibility and stupidity (after all they were not protesting for something worthwhile like “Black Lives Matter” but something completely ridiculous), they shall have to pay for their hospital treatment themselves. AND pay huge fines. AND relieve those brave people who take care of the elderly and sick in retirement homes. Why they make me so mad? They endanger innocent, decent people, who follow the rules in order to get through these tough times. And now, Berlin has dared to prohibit another demonstration against corona rules. And more stupid people are shouting “this is an unacceptable attack on our basic rights”. Seriously? Do you bloody know how lucky we are to live in a country like Germany? Where no one needs to go hungry or is refused medical treatment due to our social system? And you have nothing better to do than insist on your “right to protest”? In times like these? Don’t you have any other problems? Because you are just too plain stupid and see conspiracy and the evilness of our government everywhere? And yes, we all know YOU WILL refuse wearing masks and keeping your distance at such a demonstration. Well, move to North Korea, I bet you will just love the freedom and plentifulness there.
3. The vacationers: Really? You really have to storm the beaches nationally and internationally? As if nothing has happened? Well, Mallorca has been declared a risk country, others are following. Because, once again, stupid people couldn’t help being stupid. Forgetting to keep their distance and partying their hearts out. Returning vacationers have to do Corona tests or go into quarantine on their return. Is it really worth it? I know it’s a two-sided sword. Countries and places living from tourism. I’m sure it would be possible to have a safe vacation. By restricting the number of people occupying hotels, clever concepts, etc. But it seems that, unfortunately, human mankind is just too stupid to be and act responsibly without strict rules. (As can be seen in tourist partying hotspots and the beaches!) And there we go again. As predicted by lowly me, the numbers are increasing and we face the danger of returning to more restrictions again. Not to mention the impact on an already weak economy.

And that’s what makes me so mad! As already mentioned in one of my other posts, I too would love to go on vacation. Treat myself to a couple of days at the beach or just go back home to Austria. (Not to mention returning to my beloved England!) And I know we all need to get away after the past months to recharge, to breathe. But, what’s the point? It is at it is (oh no, I actually stole a quote from Trump – who was referring to the deaths in the USA) and we have to do the best to keep each other safe to get through this pandemic. And we can only do that by being responsible and careful. All of us!

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THANK YOU, BILL MAHER

Finally, finally someone who’s saying out loud what I’ve been thinking for years now. Thank you so much for your documentary “Religulous”, which I came across a few years back even though it’s been made in 2008. I certainly never considered being part of a minority, belonging to those “few” non-religious people. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you, Bill Maher! You are amazing! So, let me point out a few highlights of the best documentary I’ve seen in years!

• The Holy Ghost impregnated Mary!MYSTERY in capital letters! Being impregnated by the Holy Ghost can’t be much fun! Unless it’s a big cover up – again – from the year Zero. Mary cheated on her husband, became pregnant and therefore claimed the Holy Ghost did it. Talk about fake news and the luck of no prove without DNA testing … Pretty clever, I have to say! Add a few crazy people who believe anything and you’re home free.
• The well-dressed Reverend “Dr” Cummings!Wearing lizard shoes and gold jewellery, who claims Jesus dressed well too, cause he received gold at his birth and therefore was not poor. You know, he might actually be right! But since we don’t know how Jesus spent the next 30 years one can only assume he gambled everything away, spent it on women and probably had a few alimonies to pay. And there went all that gold … So, when we meet him again he’s so poor he can only afford simple garb and preaches against rich people to be popular.
• The Ex Gay!Who married an ex lesbian and fathered three kids. Claiming gays are not born gay but suffer from insecurity within themselves! Gee, tell that Elton John or Ellen DeGeneres! What’s so awful and sinful about homosexuality? To be loved is most important! And after all, the character counts, not the gender!
• Quotes from founding fathers and early presidents!Ben Franklin, “Lighthouses are more useful than churches!” How right he was! What’s the use of a church if one ship after another crashes into cliffs, killing dozens of people just because there is no money for lighthouses? I think you can easily find a few analogies to the 21^stcentury … John Adams, “This would be the best of all possible worlds if there were no religion in it!” One wonders what  people would fight about if there were no religions! No fanatics bombing themselves to pieces, no missionaries forcing themselves onto native tribes, no politicians faking being humility and Christianity … Thomas Jefferson, “Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man!” That’s going down like honey! You just have to love this guy! To imagine that 300 years ago they were more tolerant and modern than today, that’s kind of scary! But let me just add, that I consider other religions even more “perverted” than Christianity!

• The religious senator!Who doubts evolution and admits that you don’t have to pass and IQ test to be in the Senate. Oops. Sigmund Freud would have been very happy about this more than revealing Freudian slip of the tongue. At first I was laughing out loud, but then I started thinking. It’s a little concerning considering that such people are basically running this country. And obviously, it’s not getting any better, as the last election proved. Maybe an IQ test wouldn’t be that bad an idea. (Yes, Mr. Trump, self-proclaimed genius. I’m talking about YOU!)
• The cool guy!Father Foster, Senior Vatican Priest! I’m not telling you any more! You’ll have to see it for yourself! Just so much! I wish there were more priests like him!
• The Holy Land Experience!Where you can see Jesus die every day, complete with souvenir shops, exhibitions and restaurants to “live as Jesus did”. And Bill Maher mentioning guys who lived 1000 years before Christ like Krishna or God Horus with similar backgrounds. Carpenter Krishna, born to a virgin and baptized in a river. Horus, born to a virgin, baptized in a river, crucified, tempted while alone in the desert, healed the sick and the blind and walked on water, had twelve disciples, resurrected after three days. Ring a bell? I think they just needed a new “miracle” in the year Zero, so they gave a regular guy a new identity plus fake family history. And voilà, a star is born!
• The second coming of Jesus Christ!In the form of Jose Miranda, claiming that two angels came to him and told him the Lord of Lords and King of Kings is coming to anoint him for the ministry. Oh, and Jesus’ seed travelled from France to Spain and came to Puerto Rico. Mr Miranda seems to have read too many Dan Brown thrillers. I don’t quite remember Jesus ever having been to France. But who knows! He might have enjoyed delicious cheeses and wines and escargots, living like God in France, throwing out his inheritance before returning to Jerusalem to live the life of a simple and modest man. Did he piss off someone in France and had to go back? Like impregnating the wife of an important French man? Maybe that’s what witness protection programs looked like in those days!

Some of you – or a lot of you – will not approve of my views concerning religion and Christianity. All I can do is apologize and hope Bill Maher and I make you question what has been pounded into us from childhood on …

PEN AND PAPER

Well, here I am! With pen and paper! Trying to compose my article for this Saturday! Pen and paper? That’s weird … yes, it is! And it shouldn’t be weird! It shouldn’t make a difference whether I use pen and paper or my beloved MacBook. After all I started out with just that: pen and paper. Writing down my thoughts whenever I was on the train, in a café or anywhere else.

But it does. It does make a difference. I’m sitting here in a coffee shop, having just dropped off my MacBook at the Apple doctor in the hope that not only my data and not yet externally saved articles can be saved but my merely 3-year-old MacBook as a whole. If not … well, then it’s lots of money down the drain. Because of course I had to have the larger capacity version and not just the basic one. (I won’t even mention the not insignificant amount a repair will cost me!)

So, here I am, Latte Macchiato in front of me, pen poised, trying to get inspired … but it doesn’t work. It just doesn’t work. I don’t have a clue what to write about. Well, apart from the obvious. Maybe I’m still shocked that I might have to buy a new one. After three years (of course I’m a few months over the warranty period, what else) – and it’s not as if I used it daily for hours. More like on weekends and vacations. I take care of my things and this really makes me angry. Such an expensive piece of equipment is not supposed to drop dead after such a short time.

Anyway, there’s no point worrying about it before I don’t even know what the verdict will be. It does dampen my mood, though. A tiny wee bit. You think the worst in terms of big expenses is over after the move … and bam, there comes another whopper. Oh well, vacations are overrated anyway. Who needs to get away for a few days to recharge and a change of scenery? Walks on the beach or sightseeing, enjoying being cooked for at different restaurants, room made up … completely unnecessary. Holidays at home are the BEST. You can finally deep clean your apartment again, cook your favourite dishes for yourself every day and do what you always do anyway.

Argh, I guess there is just no point to bore you anymore with this totally useless article. I’ll just use the next hour hacking my handwritten scribbles into my iPhone and upload this piece of … for Saturday to come. Sorry, guys … I promise to be back in writing mood and mode soon. (I hope). Keep your fingers crossed, until then … cheers!

MY CORONA DIARY

This had to come, of course this had to come! After all, there’s not sooo much going on right now! And although I have some backup articles I will post in between, there really is not going on very much! Even though “normal” life is slowly starting again. At least what one can call normal. A new normal. And I wonder when we will be able to behave and travel in the carefree manner we were used to. When hugging your best friend won’t be frowned upon anymore, when shaking hands will become common again and when leaving behind your personal data in every restaurant and salon will be a thing of the past again …

Well, right now THIS is our normal. Staying home as much as possible, working from home, avoiding meeting people, wearing masks … that’s our life. I have to admit, it was and is not that bad in Germany. We at least didn’t have real lockdowns. But … observing the situation with concern in the summer months now and those stupid people going abroad on vacation, storming the beaches, lakes and parks in Germany as if nothing had happened … I’m positive the numbers will go up up up again in fall. And I’m not surprised.

Of course, I too would love to get into my car and head to the North Sea or England, book a Cunard cruise, fly to New York or London for some shopping or just go home to Austria to meet the few relatives and friends I still have left there … but the sensible person in me has decided that this year it might be better to just stay home.

And that’s what I’m basically doing. Have been doing since mid-March. Staying home. Spending my free time reading, working on my photo albums and digitalizing the old Super 8 movies from my father and grandfather. Boring, right? Yeah, I know! I better should not mention then, that I tend to be in bed by 7 pm, with my iPad and one of my books. Which I have started to order in paperback form again instead of for my Kindle. After all, I do have to expand my already extensive library, now that I can do that again without guilty conscience.

I do enjoy home office, though. Hoping that when everything goes back to normal, I might be allowed to share my time between the office and my home. Not having to drive to work for 40 minutes every day, getting annoyed by other drivers, who clearly don’t know how to drive, is a big contribution to reduce my personal stress level. Getting up, throwing on leggings and a sweater and just jump into work, is not so bad either. Being able to cook real lunch and look after my chronic pancreatitis cat, is a bonus as well. And with my colleagues just a video chat away, it’s ok too. Even though I do miss the real personal contact, the occasional lunch outings with my lunch buddies and company cafeteria lunch when Spaghetti Bolognese or Currywurst are served …

But for now, I try to enjoy my at-home time, as boring as it might seem. My guilty pleasures during these times? (Apart from too much online shopping, even though I tell myself on a weekly basis to STOP doing it!?) My Saturday coffee shop outing to write and picking up Cordon bleu for lunch from the restaurant around the corner. Let’s hope we soon can be “free” and unrestricted again. Until then, keep safe and healthy! And don’t forget to wear masks … I know, I hate them too, but it can’t be helped right now to keep each other safe!

 

MY BRITISH FAVOURITES

Oh, I miss the UK! So much! And therefore, it’s high time to add a “British favourites” article to my collection. Since I have already entertained you with the American version ages ago. It’s really high time to rectify this. And since going to England right now is out of the question due to the whole pandemic and restrictions and dangers, I at least can reminisce about better times. And hopefully better times to come again. Now, this is for all you British-at-heart out there!

My favourite British food: SPAM. Definitely SPAM. SPAM SPAM SPAM. First getting introduced with this amazing tinned meat in the Monty Python’s sketch “SPAM”, I had to take some of it back home with me on my next England trip. And got hooked. Trying all kinds of various meals involving SPAM, having to order it whenever I run out – often – to not become SPAM deprived. And you wouldn’t want that, believe me!

Which leads me to my next topic! My favourite British TV shows: Monty Python’s are on top, of course. Closely followed by brilliant Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry in “Jeeves and Wooster”. And something really weird but incredibly funny “Welcome back, Mrs North” – a BBC 70s comedy which I came across accidentally. But, as you can imagine, “Downton Abbey” is among my top 10s too. (Ohhh, already feel another post coming up!)

My favourite British author: P.G. Wodehouse. And no, not because of “Jeeves and Wooster”. I’ve known his books before discovering the TV series – in a small shop in Covent Garden, buying the first season as video tapes (yes, that’s how old I am), hoping not to be disappointed which usually is the case when books are transformed into series or movies. And I was not. Disappointed. I fell in love with Laurie and Fry from the very start.

My favourite British car: And here it comes! Since I totally failed to name an American car … what else could it be than my beloved Range Rover. Basically every single model. The Sport, the Discovery, the Freelander, my Evoque, the Velar … case closed!

My favourite British city: would London be too obvious? Too boring? Well, I really do love it to pieces. Since unfortunately my other choices would be Brighton, Southampton, Harrogate and Bath. I know, I know, I really should get over there more and more and more to discover all the other great places!

My least favourite British food: chips with vinegar. Euw! Tried once, never again! It definitely comes onto my list of weird food combinations! Together with … hey, not gonna tell. One needs to save some stuff for another post …

My favourite British shop: I could say Marks and Spencer now. Or Selfridges … if I tried to sound as boring as I usually am. But in my heart, it’s Ann Summers. Plain and simple. Regularly leaving too much money there. Waaay too much! Even ordering online when I need to treat myself to something new, cause, let’s face it, if you are used to Ann Summers, other stores are just dull.

My favourite British custom: tea time! Can you hear me swooning? Next time I’ll definitely book the real thing at the Ritz. And of course, I will have to go shopping before all that to buy the perfect Ritz worthy outfit.

My favourite British designer: Vivienne Westwood. Just adore her classy skirt suits with this little something! Absolutely fabulous!

My favourite British restaurant, well, rather my favourite restaurant in London: Dicken’s Inn. In competition with the Hard Rock Café. Tacky, I know. The one a typical pub in the St. Katherine’s Docks, the other one the typical touristy destination. But … I just can’t help going to HRC wherever there is one. And I have been to the one or other (dozen). Even in Venice – I know, shame on me!

My favourite British sight (for now): Tower Bridge. No, wait, Stonehenge, no … ohhh, I just can’t decide.

My favourite British team: Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. I have become a big fan of the old Top Gear episodes and their new series “The Grand Tour”. Going so far as to ordering merchandise cups to use at the office … I just love those guys. They are hilarious and their car testing, adventures and crazy challenges just awesome. British humour at its best!

As usual I could probably go on and on … but I don’t want to bore you endlessly … so, have a nice weekend! I will celebrate this week’s article with Earl Grey, cucumber sandwiches and scones! Toodle-oo!