A 2020 CHRISTMAS CAROL

My 2020 Christmas Carol! 

Christmas past! I’ve already covered that more than once! And every year again memories surface … beautiful and painful at the same time!

Christmas present! (Which, if you take it strictly, is already a thing of the past too!) But, regardless, it’s the most current and I have to say: My Christmas was marvellous! I started the day with getting the last few groceries for my Christmas fondue, had a relaxing breakfast while watching “A series of unfortunate events” on Netflix, then prepared the fondue sauces and spent a likewise relaxing day with reading, chatting with friends and family and preparing everything else for my festivities.

At 5 p.m. on the dot I sat down for Fondue dinner with the ancient Fondue set from my parents, stylishly in 70s design, me being dressed up in my red wrap dress. (After all it’s Christmas!) And while I fried franks, mushrooms and chicken, I got entertained by another Netflix marvel. This time: the latest season of “The Crown”. One has to keep one’s standards up!

My cat was looking on jealously as I enjoyed his favourite foods – even though he was treated with cooked chicken all day and a piece of franks as well. But the smells were just too delicious …

After dinner, I lit all candles in the living room and the ones on the tree, rang the bell like we used to and stood in front of my Christmas tree with “Silent night” playing old-fashionedly on my CD player. Of course, I couldn’t help crying my eyes out after all. Because I miss them so much! I miss the laughter and silliness! Watching each other unwrapping our gifts, full of joy! But I also knew they are proud of me for finally embracing the Christmas season again, the way I did this year. With the cookie baking, the decorating, the holding up of our traditions … And I enjoyed it. All of it! Resulting in spending one and a half hours of unpacking my Amazon gifts to myself. And even though I knew basically what I had ordered, it was still a surprise which parcel contained what. I have to admit, I went a little overboard with my presents to myself and to my cat, but I enjoyed it immensely. Knowing that of course this is also just my way to compensate for the loneliness and still feeling grief as well as the already experienced horror of not having a single Christmas gift underneath the tree. Never again … and if I have to gift myself!

Christmas Yet-to-come! What I also realized this year? How lucky I am! I literally escaped the horror of future Christmases with people I can’t stand. Just thinking about what it would be like 10 years from now or so … with my ex’s daughters plus attachments and eventually grandkids visiting or – horror of all horrors – even staying over for the holidays, a time I usually desperately need to refuel my batteries and not play host all the time … I shudder with absolute terror. Can you imagine ME sitting there, having to listen to the little ones performing Christmas songs, poems or – God forbid – screeching on their musical instruments!? With the proud parents and grandparents applauding and praising the little brats? Hell no! That’s not me! That’s just not me! Not to mention his other weird relatives I don’t have to endure anymore! Even during my relationship these thoughts of the future had popped up and even then, I had nightmares about it! Panicked! Just like before the move when it was clear his spoiled teen daughter would move in with us after all!

I know I can’t have back what I had at home … spending the Christmases of my past … but what I need? That would be someone unattached, without the baggage. Someone to celebrate Christmas with, relaxing days without hurrying from one family appointment to another, no annoying kids running around and demanding all the attention. Just the two of us over the Christmas holidays … and over New Year’s Eve go somewhere with friends, like skiing or London or New York or … Yep, that would be nice! But … as for now, I’m perfectly happy and having experienced “the other side” I now know even better what I want … and don’t want.

I never thought I would say this, since I had really awful Christmases too in my depressive days, but this one really was close to perfect! As perfect as a Christmas alone can be! Even though not seeing my closest buddy for the usual few minutes on the 24^thput a little damper on my perfect day and made me feel a bit … forgotten and not important enough to at least have 10 minutes for me. But it is as it is and I try to put it out of my mind and not let it pull me down …

Merry Christmas, you all!

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LIEBES CHRISTKIND

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It’s been quite some time since I wrote to you, leaving my letter on my childhood home window sill listing my Christmas wishes. I remember it like yesterday … once it was a doll, the City Barbie, Trixie Belden or Schreckenstein books, new skiing equipment … however, clothing or practical stuff was not exactly on top of my lists. Which kid likes to receive woollen socks or a scarf? 

And I remember sitting on the kitchen table in the afternoon of the 24^thas a little girl, watching my father cooking – preparing Christmas dinner – and looking out the window of our 8^thfloor apartment. I was imagining that you would fly by, in your white dress, golden halo and star, with your white angel wings, decorating the tree and delivering all those Christmas gifts! The living room door was always locked on the 24^thand only when you rang the bell sometime in the evening, with all of us dressed up and excited, we were allowed to enter. This first view of the lit Christmas tree candles, this warm glow and the colourful presents underneath made my eyes shine. And this image will stay with me forever! No matter how old I became or where we celebrated, the bell was always part of our tradition.

Liebes Christkind, sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock to those innocent times of my childhood. But of course, that’s not possible. (And time travel has not been invented yet!) And if I would leave a letter on my window sill now, it would have just this one wish: To have everyone assembled again – my parents, all of my grandparents, close relatives and Aunt Do. To sit around the large pulled out dining table, laughing, dining on something like pork roast with sauerkraut and Bohemian dumplings or turkey with red cabbage and potato dumplings … the beer and wine was flowing freely for the adults, with Austrian schnapps to finish off Christmas dinner … what a fun time we all had. And it didn’t matter where we celebrated, our family gatherings were always a big party … Easter, Christmas, birthdays, simple visits! “One must celebrate when one has the chance!” Is there a better reason? And we did! And good thing we did! Because there’s only me and my aunt left. My sister had her own family early, and that’s always different … which is why I just can’t face this again. Being a “guest”, not my tree, not my traditions, no rights because it’s not my home. So that’s why I’m celebrating on my own with my cat, to hold up my childhood traditions … compensating the grief I still feel by gifting myself with lots of stuff to put underneath my tree! Very materialistic, I know! But there’s nothing else left …

Liebes Christkind, please make sure, they all are well up there and have a good time, celebrating and laughing like we used to, without pain! Thanks for the years I was allowed to have them in my life and you to believe in!

DEAR SANTA

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I’ll keep it short and simple, shall I? All I want for Christmas is:

1. Jewellery, the more diamonds, the better! Vintage jewellery from the roaring 20s would do too! After all I need something to wear on my next luxury transatlantic crossing! And, as a girl, one can never have enough jewellery. My ex clearly failed in these regards … what’s less romantic than to pick the Swatch watch from the whole range of jewellery wishes? Good riddance, I totally agree!
2. A wellness week in a gorgeous British mansion! (Where else!) Could be Irish or Scottish too. I’m not that choosy! With lazy strolls in wonderful gardens, tea time with sandwiches, cakes and scones every day. Massages, moor baths, beauty treatments … pure girly bliss!
3. An unlimited credit card for the next London or New York Shopping trip. Just imagine … splurging on Prada, Armani, Agent Provocateur, Dior and all those other awesome designer temples on Fifth and Madison Avenue. Or Bond Street. And then have tea time at the Ritz and dinner at the Rainbow Room! Residing at The Plaza, of course! Ritz will have to do too …
4. Throw in a penthouse with 200sqm to have space for a home theatre, a library, guest room, large study, large terrace and a special room just for my cat and I’ll be happy …

Too much? You won’t be able to drag all that through the non-existing chimney into my apartment? Well … I guess, I’ll have do with this then:

1. Books, books, books! Gee, now that’s a big surprise, isn’t it? And the least ingenious gifts of all. (Just like gift certificates or gift cards!) But … it’s still my greatest obsession! And after all, I need to expand my already extensive library! (And have to get through the Christmas holidays without dying from boredom!)
2. As for wellness … well, the wellness week(end) will have to wait! Instead I’m going to gift myself with an air humidifier including lots of scented oils to choose from and some bathing gift sets for the ultimate relaxation.
3. The remaining DVD seasons of some of my favourite TV series! A) Because I want to possess the whole collection! B) Because Netflix has just cancelled one of it! C) The dying-of-boredom issue! Without regular TV I obviously need a back-up plan since watching the usual Christmas movies like “Christmas with the Kranks”, “Home alone”, “The Grinch”, “Miracle on 34^thStreet” … are not an option. Thanks God, I at least have the “Die Hard” movies on DVDs, so that I can enjoy another Christmas tradition. What would be Christmas without Bad Ass John McClane? Unthinkable!
4. Jewellery? Nah … it’s boring ordering something like that online! But I do have plans to buy a very special piece in the near future! A quite expensive one! I’ll never be gifted to it by someone, so I’ll gift it to myself! Am used to THAT anyway!
5. Last but not least, of course, my cat needs something too underneath the Christmas tree! 

So, dear Santa, I took the liberty to get most of my Christmas wish gifts myself, so that you won’t have to work too hard with all those millions of worldwide wishes and my books you will have to deliver to my and other places!

Yours, MJ

FAREWELL, MR. BOND

Sir Sean Connery, the ultimate James Bond, died at the age of 90 on October 31^st, 2020. I know, I’m a little late posting this article but there are only so many Saturdays. And with the lockdown, terror attack in Vienna and the US election going on … my favourite James Bond had to wait!

And just like everyone else, I too can’t help reminiscing about all those great movies he did throughout his lifetime. The Bond movies made him famous, and to me he is and always will be THE James Bond. Elegant, iconic, with this special kind of humour, this twinkle in his eyes, cool as a cucumber, his style and sexy voice. “Bond. James Bond.” “Shaken, not stirred!” Everyone knows these lines and will have said them at least once in his lifetime. I certainly have. At least the “shaken, not stirred” part. It would be a bit for a girl to proclaim “My name is Bond, James Bond!” 

I remember a time in my childhood when we didn’t have a VCR yet (yes, I’m THAT old). And sometimes I was allowed to watch a tape at our neighbours. Which was either James Bond or Luis de Funés. Which is quite a contrast, if you think about it. Great memories, great memories! And if I still had regular TV, I would watch the reruns again and again. Bond never gets boring (and the old de Funés movies neither). But, since I have the Bond Box Set, I don’t have to suffer from Bond withdrawal AND can watch the English version, which I prefer to the German TV synchronisations. So, win-win for MOI.

You might even remember my Bond article ages ago and my thoughts on Daniel Craig as the most famous spy on earth. Still no fan! 

Sean Connery was one hell of a guy and there was just something about him that made him attractive and interesting no matter his age. Who doesn’t remember his roles in “Murder on the Orient Express”, “The Rock”, “Indiana Jones and the last crusade”, “Entrapment”, “The name of the rose” … and so many others. He will be missed, not only by his family, but all his fans out there who appreciated his work and will keep him in good memory. He will be immortal in his movies and even though it’s always hard if you have to say goodbye to a loved one, 90 is an age one can be proud of to have reached. A life lived. Farewell, Sean Connery!