IN RETROSPECT OR: MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Can you believe it’s already been a year since I started my new-old life in my new gorgeous apartment? Time flew … and I’m going to celebrate it big time. Celebrating having rid myself of an awful family and a doomed relationship. Even though it was not my choice … but in the end, I was happy that I got out before the resentment became even bigger. And I couldn’t be happier to having escaped this fate.

So, yes, I’m going to celebrate my first-year anniversary this weekend. And since my cat joined me only a few days later after my move into my new apartment, we will celebrate his 16thbirthday as well.

Thinking back to two years ago, moving in together was a big deal! Especially for someone like me, who had been living alone for the past 20 years. It was exciting and scary at the same time! With the one or other difficulty thrown in to lessen the overall joy I should have felt.

Everything happened so quickly and even though I was looking forward to my new life, there was also some sadness involved. Leaving the town and the few friends, moving to another town an hour away. And apart from that, after all, I had had a very large apartment (approx. 120 sqm) just to myself, in which I could realize my most inner furnishing and decorating dreams. With a dining room / library, walk-in closet, shoes and bags on display, a fireplace mantel, lots of plants, family pictures and childhood memories displayed in my most private study, old paintings … and above all: lots of space and air to breathe. Many things I wouldn’t have anymore. Selling one piece after another. Because there wouldn’t have been space in the new one with merely 85 sqm. 

Moving in together meant compromises on every end. Regarding furniture, appliances, pictures and paintings, habits and privacy. Getting used to each other, tolerate the other’s quirks, being equal. After all, I was still my own person. As you now know, in the end it didn’t work out. Looking back and at myself … it was mostly me who was supposed to compromise. And adapt. I think we would have made it if his daughter hadn’t moved in, which was the biggest mistake of all. Who in the hell would expect that from his new girlfriend? In such a small apartment? The selfishness of his daughter was endless … and I was too stupid to just say NO. Sometimes I’m wondering … imagine we all would have been stuck at the apartment during the pandemic. With him and me in home office … without an office, just the dining room table for both of us. Everything would have imploded then for sure!

In retrospect, I have to admit, I really lucked out! Even though my new apartment is a little smaller than the last one I had, just 100 instead of 120 sqm, and without a walk-in closet and a smaller balcony … it’s better located. At least for a city girl like me. In the middle of the city with a shopping center 3 minutes away, my favorite café 1 minute, farmer’s market, cinema and restaurants and everything in walking distance. And a drugstore just beneath my apartment to get the most important essentials … I love it. I love to just pop out for a cup of tea or coffee, with my MacBook in tow, to do some writing. Or ice cream in summer. Or quickly hop to the Shopping center for take-out … to me it’s high quality of life. (Even though I did enjoy the biking “in the country”, the closeness to a small lake.) But, THIS is what I am! Being in the middle of it! To have everything just around the corner! To go out in the evening if I want to! 

So yes, everything turned out well for me and I consider myself very lucky … happy one year anniversary of new found happiness!

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