IT’S GOOD TO BE BAD

• 

• 

Oh yes, it feels sooo good to be bad occasionally! Living in the middle of a pedestrian street I unfortunately hear what’s going on outside. Whether it’s children howling, drunks shouting or teens being teens. (By the way, the clever city has decided it might be a good idea to install not only benches along the middle of the pedestrian street but also playground toys for the poor, bored little devils … I guess you can imagine the added noise day-in, day-out, night-in, night-out. Again, used by drunks and teens alike in the middle of the night or early morning …)

Anyway, a few days ago I had a chance to be really mean, kind of. Some teens were outside, right below my windows, playing awful crappy music on their cell phones. At 11 pm. So loud I could hear it through my closed windows. And I had a brilliant idea! I’ll just drown them out! So, I opened my window, put my fashionable loudspeaker outside on the window ledge and played a piece from Mozart. With full volume to overpower their measly cell phones. Just imagine, the sound of Mozart filling the silent pedestrian street underneath, having the neighbours take part and enjoy one of the greatest and most beautiful music ever. That they were surprised, is an understatement, but they finally got it and moved further down the road, away from my nightly peace. Oh, how I enjoyed my little stunt!

Or … writing a “nice” email to a burger chain, which uses the names of Austrian emperors Elisabeth (died 1898) and Franz Joseph (died 1916). Burgers! Sisi and Franzl certainly are turning in their coffins in the “Kaisergruft”. Austria with its wonderful food, influenced by its former cosmopolitanism, Hungarian, Czech, Yugoslavian, North Italian food – which were all part of the Austrian monarchy – and they use those great emperors for burgers! It’s a disgrace, it’s just too horrible to contemplate for an Austrian. As if I didn’t have to suffer enough by having to live in a country which drowns breaded schnitzels in horrible sauces. (Goosebump moments!) Not to mention other culinary disgraces …

Apart from writing Elisabeth’s nickname Sisi wrong (with two s), they also managed to invent a “Sisi” and an “Elisabeth” burger (how cleverly stupid) and divide Franz Joseph’s name to use for two burgers. Burger Franz and Burger Joseph. Their daughter Marie Valerie had to suffer the same fate. And eldest daughter Gisela? She was hidden away in the dessert section. Used as a New York cheesecake. Inconsistency also in the salad section … where salads were named after towns like Bad Ischl, Gödöllö and Budapest, others after islands like Korfu and Madeira, and two more for the palaces Miramar and the Achilleion on Korfu. With some research, they surely would have managed to find some more cities the Empress – because it was mostly the Empress who travelled far and away to get away from the strict Vienna Court – visited on her extensive travels. Boy, this really pisses me off big time … so, there I was “bad” again, venting my anger at the burger chain, how tasteless this choice as a name for a burger chain is … pointing out their many mistakes … and displaying my disgust. And rightly so!

So far, I haven’t received a reply to my “nice” email from the burger chain … but I do intend to visit their restaurant here in my “hometown” and put them in their place while probably ordering the “Otto burger” (grilled chicken, chili-cheese-sauce, pickles, burger sauce, bacon, lettuce, tomato and parmesan dressing) or the classic “Joseph burger” with BLT, cheddar and fried onions. Accompanied by “Pomm Süße Kaiserin” (sweet potato fries called “Sweet Empress Fries”) and a G&T to wash everything down and drown my sorrow.

I know, I know, it’s ridiculous to even think about something like that! But it’s also sooo much fun to especially put the high-and-mighty-Germans in their place occasionally … and frankly, it’s neither funny nor ingenious to name a burger joint – even if it’s supposed to be “high end” – after great historic personalities. It’s just bad taste. Very, very bad taste. Incredibly bad taste. And just disrespectful, plain and simple.

Or would anyone dare to use Shakespeare’s name for anything but a British Pub? Or Churchill? Or George Washington for a traditional American restaurant? Just imagine … “George Washington Pizza Place”, “Queen Mary of Scots Kebap stand”, “The Queen Elizabeth – Prince Philip Sushi Den” … just like “Sissi and Franz burger place” …

So, yeah, that’s part of me as well, to be a bitchy chick and let my surroundings know what I think of them … hell, at my age, I don’t have to bother anymore what anyone thinks of me. And I definitely don’t. Cheerio!

Advertisement