HOW TO BECOME RICH WITHOUT MOVING A FINGER

Have you ever wondered how some women manage to score the richest guys? Have you ever wondered how some women constantly fall on their feet, raking in the money left and right while not really doing anything – least of all work! Have you ever wondered what you could possibly do wrong? Let me help you achieve your long-wished goals.

1.) First of all: get a unique name! The more unusual the better. A simple “Mary”, “Kate”, “Susan” just won’t do the trick. (Hell, I really should change MY name! Although, my abbreviation “MJ” does sound at least a little mysterious!)

2.) Marry rich – the older the family the better! Since they are the royals of the New World, stick with them. Lots of prestige and respect! But beware, there are certain rules you have to obey or you’re gonna be shunned. And your carefully laid plans disappear into thin air.

3.) Marry old – the older the better. Forget love! It’s so overrated! You’ll probably only have to deal with him for a few years anyway! (And there’s always a way to get rid of him faster!) Just think of your bright future ahead. You’ll have his money and every gorgeous young man will throw himself at your feet, begging you to take him as your new toy boy. Just make sure your old husband’s will is fool proof and made out to you exclusively. Kids from previous marriages can be so annoying!

4.) No pre-nup! Whatever you do: don’t ever agree to a pre-nuptial agreement! It only holds disadvantages for you and in case of a divorce you’ll be right where you started. Searching for a rich guy who is so enthralled by you that he wants to marry you. And let’s be honest! You’re not getting any younger!

5.) Become pregnant! Oops, I’m so stupid! I forgot the pill once / I had the flu and it didn’t work / I drank too much, got sick and it didn’t work / I pierced the condoms without your knowledge / I’ve actually been pregnant for three weeks from the handyman and the kid will come early … So, you see, becoming pregnant is not that difficult! All you need is a little planning and you’ll have a great 18 years squeezing thousands of alimoniesfrom him!

6.) Do not work … apart from being the CEO’s private secretary! Always a chance to seduce him and … you know! Work is for common people! Your body is your capital! After all those hours in beauty salons and fitness centres do require a lot of time. 

7.) Seduce a married man! Stuck at work from nine to five they will be so grateful for a little attention! Your advantages? YOU won’t be the betrayed woman! Instead you’ll have plenty of fun, receiving expensive gifts – don’t forget toinsist on expensive gifts – and can blackmail him, threatening to tell his wife if he doesn’t provide for you! Good plan, isn’t it?

8.) Become one of the Kardashians … or at least try your hand on being an influencer! The best career choice ever …

Well, I hope I brought you one step closer to richdom! Kisses, MJ

Advertisement

GERMAN FOOD I ACTUALLY LIKE

Bienenstich

Kale and sausages

Currywurst

You must be quite surprised, after all my lamenting about the Germans and their weird view of culinary delights. Hard to imagine then, that there is German food I actually like, right? Well, there is …

1.) Currywurst: probably THE national fast food dish. Germany without Currywurst would not be Germany. Basically, it’s a very boring bratwurst only being made interesting by a curry-tomato sauce, to be enjoyed with curry powder of your favourite spiciness and French fries. One of the best I had in Berlin, from a simple street vendor. A new chain in my German home town, I would rate second best. I do enjoy it occasionally, but it’s not as if I needed it once a week (like my Cordon bleu).

2.) Kale with Mettenden: A North-Rhine Westfalia speciality, as I’ve heard. Kale cooked with onions and garlic, served with a very hearty kind of sausage. Reminds me of my Grandmother’s cooked cabbage and potatoes with smoked meat. A winter dish, warming and filling. Comfort food of the old-fashioned kind.

3.) Fish and chips (the German way) with Remoulade: Not a fish fan … but occasionally I enjoy this as much as the British version of fish and chips. Especially enjoyed when in company. (I would never get the idea of going to a fish restaurant myself!) Remoulade is a mayonnaise sauce with onions and pickles, similar to Sauce Tartar.

4.) Döner Kebap – or even better, Dürüm (like a tortilla wrap): I think it was invented in Germany and one can find a Kebap place on basically every street corner. I like the combination of the spicy chicken meat, red and white cabbage, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, onions and garlic sauce. Quite addictive!

5.) Bienenstich: A German yeast cake with vanillacream filling, topped with caramelized almonds.

6.) Mett: basically minced raw pork, which I hadn’t known before I came to Germany. (I do know Beef Tartare which we often had in my childhood on special occasions and always loved it!) Mett was new to me and got to know at the office when colleagues occasionally got together for a “Mett breakfast”. Traditionally it is eaten on rolls with thinly sliced onions, seasoned with salt and pepper. Delicious! Really!

7.) Christstollen: Christmas stollen. A special kind of cake, more on the dry side, often with marzipan, candied oranges and lemons, raisins. I do like it but am not as addicted to it as one of my best friends. I prefer the Austrian version which is a dark fruit bread (or the British Christmas pudding).

Gee, I’ve been thinking and thinking of other German food and dishes – or rather North Rhine Westfalia food – I couldn’t live without … and there’s just nothing. Nothing at all. Even though the Bavarian as well as the former Eastern German cuisine – with major influences of Polish and Czech dishes (which have played a big part in Austrian cuisine due to it once being part of Austria and Bohemian female cooks were very much in demand for their skills) – is definitely more than edible. Would I miss anything back in Austria? Hell no! After all, I have to import all kinds of delicacies from Austria in order to survive here …

TWO ANNIVERSARIES

It’s March 2022 and I’m celebrating two anniversaries. Or rather … 3 … 4? Sometimes I can’t believe how quickly time passes and I don’t know whether that is a good or bad thing. 

1.) Anniversary No 1: Two happy years in my new apartment. And they really were very happy. It’s a beautiful apartment, with high ceilings and I dare say I furnished it with great style, even though most of it is from Ikea. But I just like their classic style, the affordability and the easiness to put together, most of which I can do myself … especially the smaller pieces …. It’s in the middle of town, no less, and I enjoy the luxury of having everything in walking distance. I enjoy my balcony, decorated with flowers in summer and planting tomatoes, lettuce and radishes (everything else was not quite a success). Having breakfast outside in summer, do some reading and relaxing. And I love to be surrounded by my pictures, souvenirs, heritage items and books.

2.) Anniversary No 2: Two happy years with my cat who is turning 17. And I’m happy to say he is as fit as a fiddle. Still managing to jump up onto those pieces of furniture he usually shouldn’t. But as cats are, they are their own masters and just do what they want. Totally ignoring my scolding or cooing. He is not the cuddly type … and still … he seeks my company, always being in the same room I am. He doesn’t even want to spend time on the balcony all too much when I’m not outside. He sleeps close next to me and carefully touches my cheek with his paw when he wants my attention. He complains loudly when I serve him food he doesn’t like … which changes daily. While one day he can’t get enough of one kind he hardly looks at it the next. And he makes me laugh, every day!

3.) Anniversary No 3: Two happy years of Covid. I can hear you shrieking loudly now! Covid? How can the past two years of Covid have been happy? Yes, there were inconveniences and the constant changing of rules, ridiculous rules at times, the hardly getting outside, with travelling reduced to an absolute minimum were annoying. But all in all, it didn’t bother me too much, no depressive episodes far and wide. Maybe it would have been a bit more difficult for me in Austria, but not here in Germany, where my social surroundings amount to three good friends, one special friend and a few acquaintances. And, as already written once or twice or … I did and do enjoy the peace and quiet very much.

4.) Anniversary No 4: Is really an extension of anniversary No 3. Because without Covid I would never have been able to be granted doing home office. Two happy years of home office. And I still love it. And I still don’t miss anything. I love my beautiful home office, with the view of my book shelves, family pictures and 14 plants surrounding me. Nothing compared to my “office” at the company, which I have to share with at least 20 other people. I don’t even want to think about the day when everyone will have to go back to the office. Gone will be the wonderful peace and quiet I enjoy at home, not having to use earphones, being able to swear loudly when something annoys me, being able to fully concentrate on my work. Gone will be the comfort of not driving to work for 40 minutes’ minimum, the home cooked lunches, the … just everything. I love it. And I appreciate every single day!

Oh yes, I certainly can’t complain! What the next year will bring? (Apart from two big trips and finally, finally new topics to write about in my blog. I have to admit I’m spreading a little thin with ready-to-post pieces, after all, nothing much is happening and constantly writing about the current world affairs is just too depressing and annoying!) I don’t know. But I hope it will be a happy one as well!

THE FACE OF EVIL

I was contemplating not writing about it. After all, the papers are full of the tragedy playing out in the Ukraine right now. Everyone is talking about it. Even in our team meetings Putin and the war are topic number one. And of course, the impacts it will have on our projects and contracts. Not to mention the economy in general.

And the most horrible of all? Once again, the stupidity of our leaders. For years, decades, it was clear that diplomacy is not working with a narcissistic, megalomaniac like Putin is. And there should have been ramifications in the strictest way long, long ago. And now you are surprised? REALLY? I’m not. Sadly, I’m not. You just have to look at his eyes and you can see the evil within. (Not to mention his actions over the years, Russia being far away from a democracy …)

No matter which pictures or videos you look at, him meeting other leaders … you can see in his facial expressions that he’s basically laughing behind their backs. With his big masterplan on his mind all the time, ruling Russia, ruling the world, and no one will be able to touch him, sway him, too afraid of what he might do. He is not better than all the other small despotic guys – Napoleon, Hitler, Kim and who else is out there, power hungry, mad, stark raving mad.

And that’s my worst fear, has been for a long time now with those crazies out there, always pushed to the back of my mind. But still there. (And yes, Trump was and is among them …) That someone would tick out and start dropping bombs. Having read a lot about WWI and WWII in the past year, it scares me even more. Even though war then and now is different. But still, death and desperation, economic hardships will follow. And I can only agree with Vladimir Klitschko, mayor of Kiew, “How can this happen in 2022”?

Exactly, how can this happen in 2022? In Europe! And that’s the problem. Putin hates Europe – well, he hates everything Western and everyone who isn’t dancing to his tunes like Assad, Erdogan, etc do. And frankly, I wouldn’t know how to stop him and those like him, apart from the obvious … to cut off the head of the snake. And once again I’m asking myself why people like that are allowed to live a long life … while others, who never did any harm have to die young due to all kinds of diseases, cancer … they never seem to be punished in the worst way themselves. Suffering from awful pain, as the cancer is wasting away their bodies. And yes, I do believe those horrible maniacs should be tried, found guilty and hanged for crimes to mankind, for murdering / or having “uncomfortable” people murdered. Everyone knows it, but no one is actually doing anything against these governments of terror, with the worst in Afghanistan happening right now. One just seems to be completely powerless. Just imagine a world without all those worthless people … just living in peace in normal circumstances in the 21st century … the greatest luxury of all.