It’s an obsession! Always has been! Even though I too had times in my life in which I didn’t devour one book a day …

But my obsession with books and reading is back. For a very simple reason. It distracts me, giving me an escape to another time and place and makes me not think too much. To think about my life and the things I have lost. To think about disappointments. Friends who turn out to not be friends after all. Out of sight, out of their lives. 

Recently I had to deal with a heavy hit and it took me some time to get over it, coming very close to ending this 19-year-long friendship (2003). Just like other friendships I had to end because what’s the point of a friendship if you are the only one taking the effort and making sure the contact remains even though you are far away? When it’s always YOU sending messages or calling? If you ask for help and just receive a derogatory response instead? At one point,you just have to cut your losses and get rid of those people who are not doing you any good anymore. They don’t care anyway. And as sad as it is, giving up year-long and close friendships … especially if times are tough and you are filled with worries, you will realize who your real friends are. Those who won’t drop you!

Reading distracts me from my annoyance about myself when it comes to my former relationship and my being too nice, too generous, too compliant! And I guess it will take some time until my angerdissipates and I will forgive myself for being so stupid. Learning from mistakes is part of life!

Reading also makes me not think about “my first cat” Tristan too much. It’s breaking my heart to know that he was ignored more than being loved and cuddled. Left alone for days, because he’s a “cat”, can go outside and has the bathroom to retreat to … with some food being provided. I dare not think about all that, the way he bumped my head, cuddled up to me… it hurts too much and makes me despise HIM more than I can say. Which is not good for me.

108 books, that’s the whopping number I counted for 2020 – as much as I could retrace the Kindle and Paperback books I read. I suspect it was a bit more. (Which is why I started an extra list for 2021 to get an exact number for the next years to come. Why haven’t I thought about that much earlier? Well, I once had a list which displayed not only the author and title but also where I bought it, the colour of the spine, start and end reading date, … that WAS a bit over the top, I guess …) 108 books in 2020! 309 books in 2021! Whew! But not all too surprising either, I suspect book consumption of most people went up in the past two years. After all, not much could be done during the Corona Pandemic with “staying home” becoming a new way of life. So, yes, I too spent a lot of time at home and enjoyed my escapes into many, many books. Escaping to the Victorian and Edwardian times, 20s and 30s, trying to deduct and guess the murderers in my mysteries.(Which I very rarely manage to do until the very end!) What 2023 will bring? More glorious books to read! More escapes and joy whenever I have finished a book and add them to my constantly expandinglibrary!

Happy reading, you all! Everyone deserves to forget his worries for a few hours!



    1. Yes, they are! I couldn’t imagine life without books … and the only reason I ever throw one out is in case of mildew, they smelled just awfully … which sadly happened twice with used books I had ordered.

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  1. Congratulations on reading so many books and get out of those melancholy thoughts… I have to say as far as friendship is concerned, I have to say the modern life is too busy for us to make more friends. We end up only have one, two, or three close friends. I recently read an article that says often during the time of need (certain help or even finding somebody to listen), a non-close friend is 90% of time more effective than a close friend. This is just telling us not to concentrate on two or three close friends, but rather talk to more people and have more non-close friend. However I know this is hard especially for a person as shy as me. Now I am thinking that maybe I can find something to talk with others and to make the non-close relationship more enjoyable. I am still thinking…

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  2. Holy moly! That is a lot of reading. I remember when I read voraciously. I’m trying to train myself to let go of other stuff and pick up more books. This is a good kick in the pants!

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