I confess! I’m addicted to magazines! Not surprising, you say? Since I’m a woman and that’s just what women do? Becoming addicted to stupid, cheap magazines? The more gossip the better? Are you wondering why we just can’t live without all those magazines out there? And there are plenty of them. I might have a few answers for you guys then!
- They provide us with small talk material! Chatting about the weather is sooo yesterday (unless you are in Britain where this is just bon ton). We’d rather spice up boring parties with the latest gossip – and not only what’s going on at the office! We are Cosmopolitan and have a huge knowledge of every single celebrity and being European the various royals have become like a second family. You think that’s not important? Boring? Silly? After all who wants to know which starlet shags which star? Guys, we do! It’s deception, murder and mayhem out there! YOU have your cars, sports and politics! We have fashion, gossip, interior decoration, …
- They help us solving relationship problems! Are you sighing now cause your girlfriend/wife has just confronted you with the latest love questionnaire? Complaining you’re not sensitive enough? Do you remember the fights you had after that? Wondering how those weirdo psychologists can come up with stupid tests month after month? Telling you what an insensitive bastard you are even though they don’t even know you? And are you trying to hide those magazines? Not very successfully? I feel for you! I really do! Unfortunately, us women can be so gullible! Especially in herds, ripping you poor boys apart because you left your socks lying around AGAIN! But rest assured, we would be even more difficult to endure without our beloved professional relationship advice …
- What else shall we read at hair and beauty salons to get pretty for YOU? You guys probably spend half an hour every other month at the barber – or more like 10 minutes? – and that’ a complete waste of your precious time, isn’t it? After all, time is money, right? Well, what are we supposed to say? It’s hours for us! New hair colour, hair masque, new cut, drying, straightening or curling, not to mention manicures and pedicures … everything just for you! And in the process we have to be careful what to tell the hair stylists since they manage to squeeze you dry like a lemon. They would make fabulous spies for sure. (I once heard that the city with the highest spy density is Washington … if I were you, I would be very careful what to tell your Washingtonian hairdresser! Maybe not as critical in small towns, your life stories will merely spread through the town like a wildfire!) So, tell me, what else shall we do except catching up on the latest gossip, cooking recipes – to surprise you with something new and delicious, hopefully -, fashion – again, we’re just dressing up for you guys, we would be happy in sweat suits and without 10 inch heels – and whatever else is out there to annoy you and amuse us!
But cheer up! There could be worse than women getting information how to be more fashionable, a more perfect housewife and mother, a better lover or incredible interior decorator. After all, that’s what you really want, don’t you?
Oh, and by the way! Elvis is still alive! He was last seen in a little Colorado town being abducted by aliens!
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